House
Fidelity

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Low Fidelity

Foreman talks to Elyce's boss. She's the meat chef in a restaurant so fancy that it has real, live French people working in it. Foreman asks what kind of cleaners they use, and Boss says that unlike Foreman's hospital, the higher-ups don't have to do grunt work. Foreman asks if they sprayed for roaches recently, and a kitchen worker who may or may not be Gérard Depardieu gets all alarmed. Boss orders him to get back to work, and then tells Foreman that he has to do the same. So he'll break it down for Foreman: he's been using the same cleaning products for the last fifteen years and everyone else is healthy. He hopes Elyce feels better soon. Foreman notices some cooked rabbit carcasses lying around.

Elyce wakes up from her latest nap to find Cameron hanging out. Cameron says Ed is down at the gift shop and asked Cameron to stick around until he got back in case Elyce woke up. "You must have better things to do," Elyce says. "I send my laundry out," Cameron says. Yeah, all three pieces of it. I'll bet that bustier-vest is dry clean-only, too. So Cameron has all the free time in the world to listen to Elyce's super-romantic fairy-tale story of how she and Ed met during their freshman year of college, when he came to her dorm for a party, barfed all over her bathroom, and threw her vomit-soaked towels out the window so that she wouldn't find out. What a charmer. Cameron says that Ed must have come back the next morning to apologize. It's pretty funny when Elyce blows her romance book ideas of love out of the water and says that she actually tracked Ed's ass down to get restitution for the towels he ruined. Then she complains that her neck hurts and her arm itches. Cameron doesn't think it's a big deal, and leaves to get her some cream for the itch. Which means that Elyce is all alone when the huge bubble rises up from her forearm and then all the bugs crawl out of it. Understandably, she freaks the hell out, and Cameron runs in to try to calm her down. Foreman enters, sees the scene, and you know he's thinking about how when they left Elyce, she was calm and sleepy, but after a few minutes with Cameron, she's become hysterical, and that can't be a coincidence. Elyce waves her arm around, the bugs flying everywhere. It's the stuff of nightmares. Or hallucinations, which is what poor Elyce was actually having.

Foreman tells House that they had to sedate Elyce, and House is pissed. He doesn't think that people who already sleep eighteen hours a day should be given something that makes them sleep even more. Foreman says that their only other option was to let Elyce scratch her skin off. In the office, Wilson says that bug hallucinations are consistent with paraneoplastic syndrome. Cameron points out that the hallucinations started immediately after they started treating Elyce's "symptoms." House wonders if there are, in fact, "bugs" under Elyce's skin after all. Foreman says everything of that nature has been ruled out. House says that the final stages of African trypanosomiasis wouldn't show up in any of those tests. Foreman wonders how someone who has never been out of America could get bitten by a tsetse fly. He mentions that Elyce's restaurant serves rabbit; maybe she inhaled some rabbit fever? I knew someone with rabbit fever. She collected all sorts of ceramic rabbits and put them all over her living room. But this rabbit fever is actually tularemia, and is spread to rabbits through ticks. House says that they dismissed Lyme Disease figuring that Ed would have noticed a rash, but that they'll give rabbit fever a whirl even though its onset symptom is a "wet, hacking cough." Foreman says that's just as likely as Elyce's missing her exit on the Turnpike and winding up in Africa, which, incidentally, happened to me in a dream I had once. I also dreamt I could drive from Connecticut to Las Vegas in one day. I drive really, really fast in my dreams. "Very nice," House says to Foreman, adding, "That's why I ride you." Then he limps into his office and turns on the television. "Did he just turn on the TV?" asks Cameron Obvious. "He needs to think," Wilson says. Encyclopedia Brown only had to close his eyes at the dinner table for that.

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House

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