Glee

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Holy Mary, Mother of Gouda!

Kurt is near tears at the end. But it's partly because the song makes him feel even more alienated from his friends, because he doesn't believe in God. And there are a lot of American high schools where telling people that is about as difficult as telling them you're gay, so good for you, Kurt. Kurt tells them that if God does exist, then He's kind of a jerk, for doing things like making Kurt gay and then having his followers try to oppress Kurt for the imagined failure of having chosen his sexual orientation. "Right now, I don't want a heavenly father. I want my real one back." Mercedes points out that he can't prove that there's no God. Kurt responds that nobody can prove that "there isn't a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs, but it seems pretty unlikely, doesn't it?" Brit-Brit asks, "Is God an evil dwarf?" No, Brit, that's just Karl Rove, and he only thinks he's God. Quinn would like the blasphemy to cease. Kurt stands up to leave and tells them, "I appreciate your thoughts, but I don't want your prayers."

Maharishi's Temple of Temerity. Sue is telling Figgins and Will that all the spiritual song singing has to stop, due to the separation of church and state. It's all a ridiculous bundle of half-truths and stupidity (as you would expect, given that the three people in the room are Sue, Will and Figgins). Sue's not aware that a teacher can teach about religion -- a school just can't endorse any one religion over another, or the idea of having a religion over not having one. And Figgins thinks that he can't do anything unless there's a student complaint, which is bull -- if what Will was doing was a violation of the First Amendment, the school would have to stop it even if every student was thrilled with the idea. Law students -- don't rely on this show when taking your exams in Constitutional Law.

Rachel enters Finn's room. Aw, I think I had that cowboy wallpaper when I was five. Finn asks Rachel if she's also upset about Kurt's dad. Rachel: "Yes. But more importantly, let's discuss your newfound love of Jesus, and how it's affecting me." She tells him that she plans to be with him for a long time, but she needs to know that when she turns 25 and is ready for intercourse and babies, that those babies will be raised in the Jewish faith. Finn is still lost in the idea that she doesn't plan to have sex until she's 25. Rachel: "Both of my dads' peoples were slaves once. I need to know that my children will be free to worship in the way that I decide is right." Finn's totally down with the idea of the kids going to Jew church. So Rachel rewards him with a kiss, and tells him to lie on the bed with her. And then she pulls his hand up to her breast. They kiss, and then Finn looks to the heavens and whispers, "Thank you, Grilled Cheesus." I hope Grilled Cheesus is back down in the refrigerator and not in the attic. Or stuck to the ceiling.

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Glee

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