House
Half-Wit

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What Would You Say?

Back in the meeting room, Foreman is telling the Cottages that they got the heart problem diagnosis wrong -- there was no vasoconstriction, which is why Patrick had that heart attack on the table. I guess that's why you shouldn't perform surgery on someone for something you aren't sure he has. House has another idea -- maybe there was a bleed somewhere in the body, and that bleed caused the heart attack and the dystonia, which we've apparently gone back to saying Patrick had. To find the bleed, House recommends shoving scopes into Patrick's orifices.

So now poor Patrick will have a tube shoved down his throat with no sedation or idea what's going on. Dad promises that they're only hurting Patrick to make him better. Strangely, Patrick finds no comfort in that. He refuses to open his mouth when Chase orders him to, even covering his mouth with his hands. A struggle ensues.

And what's Cameron doing during all of this? Certainly not her job! She's running after Wilson on his way out of PPTH. She calls out his name, and Wilson rolls his eyes hilariously. He doesn't slow down, so Cameron has to keep running after him like a puppy chasing its owner. She finally catches up to him and says that Cuddy wouldn't tell her anything about House's Boston trip. Wilson doesn't want to tell her anything either, until she brats that, if House is leaving, she'll have to look for work, so she has a right to know. It's called "two-week notice," Cameron.

House plays the piano and makes the ladies swoon. Wilson shows up, and House says that he's playing a song he wrote in junior high. He could never figure out what came next in the song, and it's been bothering him all this time. And then Patrick wrote the rest of it for him. Wilson is forced to listen to the song, and to Patrick's addition, before he's allowed to talk to House about what he really wants to say. He says that he'd be willing to help House switch brains with Patrick, and then House could be the "brilliant pianist" (hee hee, that sounds like "penis") and Patrick would be the guy with brain cancer. Well, that would be mean. House stops playing and shrugs the cancer off as "nothing." Wilson thinks House needs to talk about it. He also wants to see House's medical file, and says that no one else knows about the cancer. Except Cuddy. And all of Boston, apparently. "Cancer isn't 'nothing,'" Wilson finishes. House apologizes for offending Wilson's specialty. Hee. House says that there's nothing for Wilson to do here; he's going to Boston for some treatment, and then "everything will be fine."

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