Episode Report Card
admin: C | 7 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Mock The World Turtle

The camera cuts over to the main hall, where we find Our Intrepid Heroes heading towards their room -- which is very close to Sinister Chet at the front desk, I suppose I should note. Just down the way a bit, a disturbingly overeager pair of newlyweds have started molesting each other right out there in the open, for God and all to see. Perverts. Dean leers. Pervert. Sam whaps his ever-inappropriate brother upside the head, and Dean finally unlocks the door to enter their room. As one would expect given the level of decor in the hotel's common areas, it's far tonier than the accommodations to which they've grown accustomed over the years, right down to the chocolates on the pillows and...Casa Erotica 13 prominently on demand? Shut up, Supernatural. Super-Smart Sammy scoffs, for he has grown suspicious. Dean wonders what gives. "Isn't this place kinda in the middle of nowhere?" Sam asks. "So?" Dean replies. "So, what's a four-star hotel doing on a no-star highway?" Unfortunately, their conversation's cut short when the noxious newlyweds next door finally enter their room to commence with the noisy canoodling. Fortunately, their noisy canoodling's cut short when some silent yet apparently massive entity slams the newlyweds against their side of the connecting wall with such force, it cracks the mortar and threatens to send the flat-screen TV crashing to the floor. "VIOLENCE! WANTON ACTS OF UNREPENTANT OFF-SCREEN VIOLENCE!" I see what you did, there, Raoul. "Hee!" Our Intrepid Heroes, instantly all-business, break into the noisy newlywed's suite to find...absolutely nothing at all! "Drat!" Well, except for that suspiciously discarded engagement ring on the floor. "Is a bloody engagement ring, mayhap?!" No. "Phooey!" I feel your pain, Raoul. I feel your pain.

Moments later, Our Intrepidly Suspicious Heroes are asking Sinister Chet if the noisy newlyweds happened to pass by the front desk in the last thirty seconds or so. Sinister Chet says they did -- which is extremely likely, as their lifeless corpses had to be carted that way to reach the kitchen -- but adds that the noisy newlyweds just checked out -- which is extremely unlikely, because see above. Upon hearing this pathetic excuse for an excuse, Dean triumphantly produces the non-bloody engagement ring from his jacket pocket and shouts, "A-ha! I have caught you in a filthy LIE, sir! What freshly married madam would leave her engagement ring behind?" Sinister Chet responds by thanking Dean kindly for bringing the non-bloody engagement ring to his attention, relieves Dean of said non-bloody engagement ring with a promise to deposit it in the hotel's Lost And Found, and politely asks if he can be of further assistance. Deflated El Deano mutters, "No," and the boys turn away to grump and grumble amongst themselves. "Creepy," Sam notes. "Broke the needle," Dean agrees. So, what's next? Why, Dean will poke his nosy self around the establishment while Sam keeps an eye on Sinister Chet, of course, and with that we...

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