Episode Report Card
admin: C | 7 USERS: A-
The Hardy Boys Mock The World Turtle

Alas, my scaly friend, we must wait a bit longer for anything interesting to happen, for Our Intrepid Heroes have regrouped by the front desk to compare notes regarding recent events, during which they notice that every single guest has apparently vanished. DUN! Sam immediately hustles over to try the front doors which are, of course, locked. D'OH! "So, what?" Dean peeves. "The roaches check in, and they don't check out?" "Think about how we got here," Super-Smart Sammy suddenly realizes. "That detour on I-90?" I-70, Sam. You mean the detour on I-70. "Leave him alone!" shrieks Raoul. "He's tired!" Yeah, you'll be tired if you don't shut that yapping maw of yours, houseguest. "Demian!" Yes? "What on earth does that even mean?!" I think it means I'm even more tired than Sam, friend of friends. "Hee!" In any event, the boys finally -- finally -- realize they've been lured to The Elysian Fields by entities as yet unknown to them who most likely mean to do them harm, and so they carefully tippy-toe back to the hotel's kitchen in search of an alternate exit. Once there, Dean spots a vast pot of bubbling red liquid. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sorry, Raoul, I forgot about this one, too. "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" "Please be tomato soup," Dean chants, "please be tomato soup." It's not tomato soup. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!" Yep, Dean fishes around inside the pot with a handy ladle for a bit until he finds a matching pair of human eyeballs. "And they still have the optic nerves attached! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Well, at least Raoul's happy.

Our Intrepid Heroes of course next tippy-toe over to the kitchen's meat locker, where they of course find most of the hotel's other guests. "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!?" Sorry, Raoul -- they're all still alive. "Poop!" For now. "Hooray!" Sam immediately tries to pick the lock, but for whatever reason -- either nerves or lack of sleep -- he fumbles his trusty lock-picking implements to the floor. "Hurry up!" Dean shouts. Sam turns his irritated head to snap back, "I'm going as fast as I can!" but the words die in his throat when he finds two black-suited goons standing behind his brother. "There's somebody behind me, isn't there?" Dean sighs. Yep. Heh.

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