Episode Report Card
admin: A | 1 USERS: A+

So House asks Wilson what his personal interest in Victoria is. Wilson jokes that she's his new girlfriend. Hey, if House can date old ladies, Wilson can date lesion-scarred homeless women. And also, he doesn't need a personal reason to give a crap about a patient. House points out that Wilson is actually giving two craps, and fortunately Cuddy runs up and interrupts before we can hear the math behind that. Cuddy's got two young women with her. "Time for Girl Scout cookies already?" House asks. Wilson requests Thin Mints, and leaves. Cuddy says that since House is too sick for clinic duty -- and House interrupts her by beginning to fake sneeze, but is able to hold it in and tells Cuddy to continue. Of course, as soon as she does, he fake-sneezes in her face. Oh, those two! It's like Lucy whisking the football away before Charlie Brown can kick it. Cuddy continues that House will be teaching these med students how to take patient histories. When you teach, you also learn, Cuddy says, feeling quite proud of herself. Those poor, poor medical students, though. They must have really pissed Cuddy off to get this. House orders the way-too-eager-to-please students (a.k.a. Cameron Juniors) to go talk to their assigned patient and leave him alone with his Vicodin.

As they prep Victoria for the ultrasound, Chase asks Cameron why they're doing this particular case. Cameron says it's a favor to Wilson. Chase thinks it's just to prove to Foreman that he was wrong about Victoria's not really being sick. And then he sees a huge-ass tumor in Victoria's ovaries and comments that Foreman will be embarrassed, indeed.

Wilson finds House in the Clinic, surprisingly enough. House says he's just hiding from his med students so that he can go all Nancy Drew over Foreman's file and find out why he hates homeless people so much. "You really don't have to know everything about everybody, you know," Wilson says. House says that he doesn't need to watch The O.C. either, but that he likes it. ["No, he doesn't." -- Wing Chun] The other file on his desk is Wilson's. Wilson roundaboutedly calls House a "limping twerp." House's beeper goes off.

Everyone gathers around the ultrasound. Wilson says it's definitely cancer and it's really terminal. Foreman is embarrassed. Wilson says that Foreman was right after all; there's nothing they can do for her anymore. House says it may not be cancer. "You're joking," Chase says. House says that while cancer is hilarious, the mass could be a tuberculoma, which is nice and benign. Wilson says that cancer is much more likely. House says that's true, so they'll start Victoria on tuberculoma drugs immediately. Cameron points out the discrepancy here. House says it's not like Victoria has anything to lose at this point, and he loves treating people for things they don't have.

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