House
Histories

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admin: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Herstories

House reads some more Homeless Comics as his silly med students attempt to discuss their patient and her sprained wrist with him. "You're reading a comic book," one of them points out. "And you're calling attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top," House says. The student holds her clipboard protectively against her chest and mentally considers her sexual harassment lawsuit options (hint: don't talk to Cameron, she's no help), while the other student thinks about how glad she is that she went with the men's shirt and tie ensemble today. Low-Cut Top told her she looked too Avril for serious medical work, so this victory is especially sweet. "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were having a state-the-obvious contest," House says. And of all the things he could have said for his entry, he chose the most lecherous and offensive one. House says he's able to teach without listening to them, then protests the logic of having a comic-book character with the ability to control gravity whose hair keeps sticking up. The med students start fighting over how their patient got her injury. She told Shirt 'N Tie that she fell off a horse, but told Low-Cut Top that she fell down the steps of her beach house. Thus, they get Lesson #1 from Professor House: patients LIE. Why did this patient lie? The students have no clue. House won't tell them anything except that the patient either weighs less than ninety pounds or she has a red nose. Her condition starts with the letter "C." He throws a book on the table for them to peruse and leaves to answer a page.

The test results are back, and it looks like Victoria has meningitis, which means that she definitely doesn't. House tells them to put her in isolation and start her on meningitis drugs. Either she'll get better or die.

The Cottages enter Victoria's room, only to find that she's not there. "Oh my god! She was sedated!" Cameron says. Yes, Cameron, and you are calling attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top. Fortunately, Victoria left them a bunch of cartoons to assist in their search for her. Unfortunately, it looks like she drew them on the wall. I like her decision to give Foreman's scrubs cutoff sleeves, however.

Wilson and Foreman yell at each other again, this time in Cuddy's office. Wilson doesn't see how Victoria could walk anywhere with ten milligrams of Haldol in her system. Foreman says that's what he injected her with just a half-hour before she disappeared. Cuddy says that none of this is important right now, since Victoria is on the streets with highly contagious meningitis. If she spreads it around, the hospital will get sued all over the place. "She'll be dead before she can kill anybody," Wilson says, which I guess is supposed to make Cuddy feel better. Chase enters and says he checked out the security tape, and Victoria is on it stealing clothes and escaping the hospital. Foreman grabs a jacket that he probably stole, seeing as he lost his previous one, to go out and find Victoria himself using Mr. Fury's address and the rave location they found her at as a clue. Cuddy tells him to just call the police and let them take care of it. As for House, he has work to do.

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