Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | Grade It Now!

* Some forum posters maintain that Puck actually mouthed "Your dad?" (or "Your chair?") to Finn. That may be so. But "You gay?" is funnier, so let's just pretend that happened.

Oh, and remember how at the beginning of this recap I mentioned that I had pretty much the same emotional experience as Kurt? Yeah. Junior year of high school. German exchange student lived with us, and we shared a room. I fell madly in love with him. And I was a creepy, manipulative, jealous freak. So I'm really not in any position to judge Kurt for his bizarre machinations in this episode. Because I did as much, if not more. And we shall not discuss it any further.

April arrives at Will's. She's carrying an overnight bag, because she plans on spending the night. Purely in the interests of deciding if she wants to rent his apartment, of course. No ulterior motive whatsoever. Will isn't so comfortable, but April disclaims any interest in a hook-up. She's just feeling a little lonely and would like to sleep in a house that has somebody else in it. Will can sympathize. He tells April she can stay, but only on the couch, and liquor cabinet is off limits. April doesn't need his dusty booze -- she brought her own bottle of wine. She is getting fancy -- wine in a bottle instead of a box. I guess that's what you get with strip mall money. As Will is getting sheets and things for April, she's putting a CD in the stereo. As Will goes off to his bedroom, the music starts to play. April takes her coat off, revealing that she was wearing her nightie underneath it. And nothing else. And then she launches into a medley of "One Less Bell to Answer" and "A House is not a [sorry, Cheno, I just won't type it]." (I think this is the same medley recorded by Barbra in 1971, but someone gayer than me will have to confirm that.) Will joins in on the second verse. They move around their respective spaces, getting ready for bed. At one point, Will comes out of the bedroom to tuck April in and kiss her on the forehead. And you think the song is done, but they keep on singing. This song is basically the entire third act of the episode. As the song turns to "A House is not a [not in a million years]," April gets off the couch and walks into Will's darkened bedroom, crawling into bed with him. But no hanky panky. They just sing and hold hands. For reals. And damn, those two sound good singing together.

Breadsticks restaurant. The Hummel-Hudson clan is having their first meal together. Burt and Carol sit on one side of the table while Kurt and a very glum Finn sit on the other side. Kurt makes a preposterous toast, comparing the merging of their two families with the first meeting of the Bouviers and the Kennedies. Wait a minute, Selma never married a Kennedy. A Terwilliger, a Hutz, a McClure, a Stu, and a Simpson. But never a Kennedy. Really, if the writers can't be assed to do some basic research, I don't know why I bother. Kurt refers to the gathering as "our little family," and Finn mutters that they are not a family. Burt is, as you would expect, completely wonderful here. He totally gets that Finn is uncomfortable, and he goes out of his way to make this a casual dinner rather than some momentous occasion. And he pretty quickly pulls Finn out of his shell with talk of sports. It takes about ten seconds for Kurt to become insanely jealous.

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