How Titus Pullo Brought Down The Republic

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How Titus Pullo Brought Down The Republic

Cut to Vorenus's place, where Vorena (his daughter) and her Underage Lover (Crito is his name-o) are standing around awkwardly holding the baby which clearly doesn't belong to them. Niobe assures Vorenus that Crito is a good kid, from a good family; the children should clearly, clearly allowed to be married; and by all means, no one should look too closely at the baby. Vorenus kind of rides Crito for not asking permission to nail Vorenus's daughter, kindly overlooking the fact that everyone thought he was dead. Nevertheless, poor Crito is very sorry. He's even more sorry when Vorenus blusters that he'd be within his rights to kill everyone right there. "Papa, please," Vorena offers, but he tells to stop sniveling. "You should have thought of this before you spread your legs," he snaps. She looks hurt and offended, and Niobe leaps in before this all takes a turn for the worse and reminds Vorenus that the whole leg-spreading thing was only natural. "They're young, and they love each other!" she pleads, as the kids look...awkward. Niobe assures her husband that Crito's family is both prosperous and of good stock, and finally, finally Vorenus comes around and gives the kids permission to get hitched, after Crito comes of age. He then stomps off. Once he's out of sight, Niobe kisses the boy enthusiastically and gives her daughter a relieved look, before running after Vorenus.

Upstairs in their apartment, Niobe assures Vorenus that Crito really is a good boy: "You should be pleased." Vorenus huffs: "My daughter's virginity has been taken and my first grandson spawned by an ill-favored prole. How can I be pleased?" Over in the bed, all be-bandaged, Pullo eavesdrops. Niobe calls after a storming-out Vorenus that Crito makes their daughter happy. "Well, she's an idiot, then," he says as he goes. Oh, Vorenus. All thirteen-year-olds in love are idiots. "What a brute you are," Niobe snaps. Vorenus comes back to stare at her, and then sighs sadly and leaves. Niobe turns and looks at Pullo, who very quickly pretends that he didn't hear any of that.

So, everyone files into the Senate, and in short order, Scipio gets up and proposes a formal motion that unless Caesar returns for trial, he will be declared a public enemy of the Senate and of Rome, blah blah et cetera blah. Cicero looks nervous. Marc Antony looks alarmed. There is a lot of standing and clamoring as they go to a vote. Scipio's side, of course, votes in favor. Everyone turns to Cicero, who looks very, very hesitant, and finally also votes in favor. Marc Antony's mouth drops open...and people then literally start punching the shit out of each other as the motion carries. Man, if only this happened nowadays. C-Span would be killing in the Nielsens. Cicero screams across the melee to Antony: "VETO THE MOTION! VETO THE MOTION!" And Marc Antony stands up and yells that he demands the floor. He tries desperately to veto the motion, but no one hears him. They're all too busy punching each other.

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