I Do

Episode Report Card
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First Do Not That Much Harm

As they hike through the jungle, Sayid asks Locke what he really thinks killed Eko. "Folks at the beach call it 'the monster,'" says Locke, like this is a myth handed down from generation to generation of island denizens. Locke says he doesn't have a name for it himself; he also figures Sayid doesn't believe in monsters. "I believe in what I can see," says Sayid. I guess that means Islam is completely based on empirical evidence?

Anyway, Sayid figures Locke's seen it, so he asks Locke what he thinks it is. "Might be what brought us here," says Locke. "So you believe this monster decided Eko had to die?" asks Sayid, and Locke says he thinks Eko died for a reason. As do I: he was picked up by a black smoke monster thing and slammed around. Locke says he just hasn't figured out what the reason is yet. Sayid's all, so is that why you lied, because we're not going back to camp, are we? Locke says they are, but he just has to make a detour first.

So back at the Tailies' hard-labour fantasy camp, Sawyer must be thrilled that Kate wouldn't let him have a damn day off. He looks exhausted. Suddenly, the loudspeakers start blaring "compound breach!" and Danny gets all yelly on the walkie-talkie, wanting to know where "she" is. He also orders his men to put Sawyer and Kate on the ground. "If he moves, shoot him," he snaps, and confirms into the walkie-talkie that "they're here." I'm presuming he means Kate and Sawyer. He asks if "the doctor got out again," which piques Kate's interest, and he also says, "How the hell did she get over here?" Suddenly, as if in answer, one of the men guarding Kate and Sawyer gets knocked down with a rock to the back. The other one turns just in time to see Alex go all Dennis the Menace on his ass with a slingshot, and he gets a rock to the forehead. She yells for Sawyer and Kate to run, but they're a little confused. Or maybe they also realize that in the contest of many men with rifles versus teenage girl with a slingshot, the odds aren't heavy in her favor. Danny gets the drop on Alex (who likewise has her slingshot trained on him), and is all incredulous: "What the hell are you doing?" She yells that she wants to know what Danny did with "him," and that she wants to talk to Ben. Danny says, in soothing tones suitable for talking people down from ledges, that that's a great idea, but they should lower their weapons. "Where is he? Tell me!" she screams, but by now one of the other Tailies has grabbed her from behind. "Get her out of here," orders Danny, and as Alex is carried away, she yells at Kate: "Whatever they say, don't believe them! They're going to kill your boyfriend! Just like they killed mine!" Kate is too stunned even to yell, "We're just friends!" She looks over at Sawyer, who has a look on his face like, "boyfriend, huh?" He's like Michael Scott over Jan Levinson, man.

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