Lost
I Do

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First Do Not That Much Harm

Kate's really getting into the whole domesticity thing: she serves Cap'n Firefly up some French toast with an icing-sugar happy face on it. "Very nice," he says, and then one-ups her by telling her to look under her placemat, where she finds two Oceanic plane tickets. "You know that honeymoon I've been promising you for six months? You are holding in your hand two tickets to Costa Rica. So get your passport ready, baby, which should not be a problem because you are totally not a fugitive," he says. She smiles and tries to seem happy, but his keen cop observational skills tell him something's wrong. She just says that she just loves him so much. He seems to accept that, and pulls her into a hug, and she looks sad over his shoulder.

From the door of their house, Kate watches Cap'n Firefly get into his patrol car and drive off to work. She pulls a face, and walks inside.

Back in the bear cage, après sex, Sawyer wants to know -- again -- if Kate said she loves him to get Pickett to stop beating on him. Lord. She doesn't say anything, just kisses him and then snuggles back into his chest, which I'm sure he's going to interpret as a "yes." Sure enough, he says, "I love you too," although there's maybe just a hint of irony in his tone, and wraps his arms around her. I keep expecting him to look for one of the security cameras and give it a big thumbs-up and a wink.

Jack's sleeping in his cell, but he's woken up by static or scratching on that allegedly broken intercom. He sits up, blinking, and then stomps over the intercom and pushes the button. "Who is this?" More static, and then a woman's voice says, "Try the door." Whatever you say, broken intercom! Jack tries the handle, and the door's unlocked, and he walks into the hallway. He creeps down the corridor, and finds the room with the half-dozen black and white television monitors, but there's no one inside. No booze either, so he goes looking elsewhere, while everybody else strains their eyeballs looking for some grainy black-and-white hot bear-cage sex.

He finds some sort of arms closet, with rifles, handguns, and ammunition. He pulls down a handgun from the wall, checks to make sure it's loaded, and goes back out into the hallway.

And then he glances back into the television room, and he sees it, on one of the monitors. He steps closer, the better to see a little Sawyer/Kate afterglow. He sees Kate nuzzle Sawyer's neck, and he drops his head, hit hard. It's kind of funny to me that this seems to be the worst thing that's happened to Jack on this island, like, "Must escape from Others' prison, and... wait, no way! Kate and Sawyer?? Oh, fuck!"

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Lost

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