Survivor
I Have The Advantage…For Once

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Take Your Teeth And Go

When Jeff calls time, the contestants all step back and start laughing, which is cute. Jeff says that they might as well start by weighing Ozzy's obviously winning load. He brought back forty-five pounds of mud. So everybody else is playing for second and third. Parvati has twenty-four pounds. Adam has twenty-two pounds. Sundra only gets twenty, so she's not in it. Becky also has twenty. Yul needs twenty-two pounds to break the top three, or else it's Ozzy, Adam, and Parvati. Oooh, I don't think Yul wants those three off on a reward together. Yipes. Yul has twenty-two and a half pounds of mud, though, so he gets to go on the reward. Given the "choice" between Adam, Becky, and Sundra, Ozzy sends Adam to Exile Island. Everyone tells Adam that they're sorry, including Yul, who isn't sorry he's going, but who I think is sorry anybody has to go, you know? Jeff sends Adam off to the boat headed for hell. Becky and Sundra are sent back to camp. Yul, Parvati, and Ozzy head off to the spa to clean up and enjoy their reward.

After a set of commercials, we are back at camp, still on Day 34. Becky and Sundra are all alone, and it's raining. They huddle in the shelter, still all muddy. Sundra tells us that she'd rather be at the reward, and then she and Becky have a chat. Interestingly, Sundra's comment is "At least Yul got to go." Becky talks to Sundra about how competitive and tough Ozzy is, and how he "plays to win." She says it's occurring to her that it's probably "foolish" to keep Ozzy in the game until the end when he's such an incredibly tough competitor. I have to think Becky is also thinking about the fact that they're already taking a guy to the finals who has the idol and will be tough to get out before F3. Why take another guy who's almost guaranteed to be un-vote-able? Becky was just gobsmacked by how far ahead of everyone else Ozzy was. She interviews that she just realized how into winning Ozzy is, and how determined he is, and she's very uncomfortable with sitting there while he wins everything. One of the things that's so good about the fact that so many of the people this season aren't assholes is that you can actually see them work through the strategic implications of various decisions with a relatively clear head. If this were a typical season, the resentment and asshattery would be so cranked up by now that there wouldn't be any strategy talk; it would just be a petty-off.

Spa Day! "My head is so heavy," Parvati complains on the plane. That's just too big a target, having her say that. That's not just shooting fish in a barrel; it's shooting the barrel itself. She interviews that her only hope, at this point, is to get someone over to her side: "Ozzy would be my only hope." Yeah, that's about what I'd think, too. And then we are at the resort, where these very dirty, muddy people are arriving. I like how the greeter lady wastes several perfectly beautiful flower leis by putting them around these filthy, mud-covered necks. Then, she offers them a shower. We watch as muddy shoes and clothes are removed. Parvati looks at herself in the mirror, and at first she looks amused, but then she turns, vamps, strikes a pose, and clearly concludes that, even covered in mud, she is adorable. It's a great little sequence, because it's so unbelievably transparent. Showering happens, and Ozzy tells us that he'll remember the shower forever, because it was his favorite shower ever. Somehow, I think this is not quite true.

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Survivor

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