I Kissed a Girl

Episode Report Card
admin: B | Grade It Now!
Man, I Was Really Hoping For Jill Sobule

Coach Beiste is at Breadstix, picking up a bag of cheesy chicken to go, when she sees Cooter dining with Sue. Okay, Chris Noth, you can stand down now -- Sue's not coming for you. This time. Sue's not just out on a date with Cooter -- she's making sure the press gets wind of it, with Becky snapping some pictures for the newspaper and Sue doing phone interviews. Coach Beiste walks up to their table to find out just what the hell is going on. Sue and Cooter both tell her they're on a date when Sue has to leave to take a call. Coach tells Cooter that she thought they weren't seeing anybody but each other, but he tells her that she's been really tough to read. "I tried to hold your hand, and you punched me." That's not so tough to read, if you ask me. Cooter tells her that he doesn't want a buddy to lift weights with -- he wants a woman.

It's election day! There are a million students lined up for the student elections, and one grownup for the "real election." Jewfro interviews Santana and Brit about who they're voting for, and is surprised to hear Brit say that she plans to vote for Rick the Stick. But that doesn't throw him off his script of predicting a Brit-Brit victory. He tries to get an interview with Kurt, but Finn shoves him away. Kurt feels miserable, but Finn and Rachel are more optimistic. Rachel points out that Quinn is entering the voting booth, and she's sure to vote for Kurt. In the voting booth, Quinn's V.O. tells us that she's voting for Brit because she's the candidate who's most girl. Which is Brit, if you're not certain. Mercedes votes for Kurt, mostly because she worries that Brit's victory would make Santana insufferable. Mike Chang and Finn vote for Kurt, Santana votes for Brit, and Puck votes for Ross Perot. While Kurt is voting, his V.O. tells us how a loss will doom his chances of getting into NYADA. In fact, he refers to it as "the difference between my dreams coming true and managing a Sonic Burger." On behalf of every successful performer who ever attended a school other than the made-up theater school, I say to Kurt, "Shut your pie hole!"

Outside the voting booths, Coach Beiste is working at the voter check-in table. Will and Emma stop by -- presumably to vote in the real election, although I would think they would have their own people checking in voters for that one. However, the fact that both elections are in the same room does give Sue an excuse to be there, making out with Cooter for the news cameras. The Panther tells Will that Sue is just trying to rub it in her face, but Will tells her that it's all just campaign strategy. And then Becky runs up to the table with a polaroid of the kiss for the Coach: "Sue wants you to have this. She says she hopes it rubs it in your face." Emma expresses confusion over what happened with Cooter, and the Coach tells her, "He said I was uncommunicative." I think punching someone communicates quite a bit. Emma tells her that she needs to tell Cooter how she feels. And then the Coach sings Dolly Parton's "Jolene." It's all a fantasy, as we see her at the election, but also watching Sue put on makeup and watching Sue and Cooter lift weights together. Coach Beiste has a nice country edge to her voice, but I wish she was a bit stronger on the chorus. As the song finishes, Rachel asks her if she's okay.

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