While Will and poor Nina bicker, Wade, MacKenzie, and Sloan watch from afar. MacKenzie says Will is "trying to civilize" Nina like she's a feral child. "That's not gonna work out well," Sloan says. Nina throws her drink in Will's face. No one ever does this. No one. It only happens on TV shows written by people who aren't as clever as they think they are or that one episode of 30 Rock that was an episode of Queen of Jordan.
Even though Will is covered in champagne, Neal thinks this is a good time to introduce him to Keylee. He then tries to convince Will that Bigfoot is real. "Get the hell away from me," Will asks.
The next day or the day after or maybe it's March at this point since this show does like to skip around, Charlie calls Will into his office to show him the latest Page Six column in the New York Post. Will says he hasn't seen today's issue yet since he's too good for that kind of thing, but Charlie thinks he might want to make an exception today. Headline: "Anchor Rancor: Will McAvoy Gropes in the New Year." Yes, Will's non-dalliance with Nina Howard was reported to Page Six, including how she threw champagne all over the nuevo-liberal's $4,000 custom-made tuxedo. Will is quick to clear up the inaccuracies in the article: he still thinks he's a Republican but acknowledges that the fact that he's cool with the gays might make people think he's liberal. The fact that he knows his party has a problem with gays and doesn't himself but still prefers to be in the same company of people who do makes him an asshole, by the way. Will didn't grope Nina, and his tuxedo wasn't custom made. He says this all happened because he was trying to "fight the good fight." Charlie asks why he was fighting any fight. "I'm on a mission to civilize!" Will says; "progress is slow."
Charlie is happy to hear that Will is dating again. Apparently he was drunk the last six months that Will was also dating. He wonders if Will might not want to try dating a woman who isn't just good for sex. "You're asking out the wrong women," Charlie says, his head shaking furiously. I'm starting to worry that Sam Waterston has Parkinson's. I am not even joking, by the way. I love Sam Waterston (or I did until this show came into my life) and I hope he's okay. It doesn't seem healthy to me that he constantly impersonating a bobblehead doll. Will doesn't want to talk to Charlie about any of this. He asks Charlie to figure out who leaked that information to Page Six (apparently Nina the GOSSIP COLUMNIST is not a suspect, although I can't imagine why she didn't just put this in her own column and get her own scoop). Charlie doesn't really care. Will admits that his tuxedo did, in fact, cost $4,000.