Survivor

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April Fool

Rob says that his idea "of trust -- AND LOYALTY -- (HINT HINT DOUCHE) is different from Russell's." "Loyalty? I put my butt on the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine for my people," Li'l Russell says. "I saw what you did," Rob says. Yes, exactly. Li'l Russell didn't do that for Parvati's sake -- he did it for his own. Just like Rob has done plenty of shitty things to his tribemates to further himself in the game. I'm not sure what they're fighting over here. "I don't think you have the guts to do what I did last Tribal," Li'l Russell says. He's probably right about that, although I'm not convinced that it has to do with a lack of guts or a presence of brains. Rob doesn't deny it, just shrugs and says that Li'l Russell is entitled to his opinion. Way to make it look like Rob backed down in the face of a superior opponent, editors. Also, what happened to Rob saying that Li'l Russell was like a suicide bomber? We saw it in the previews, but it's not in the actual episode. I feel like I've been lied to. "If you're gunnin' for me, you're not gonna get what you want. Not from me. You're gonna have to go," Li'l Russell says, as Jerri buries her face in her hands and Rob just laughs. Probst asks Douche where he is with all of this, which gives Douche the chance to talk about how they're two soldiers fighting for different sides and he's begging them both to "reconsider and keep this tribe strong." He says they can't win challenges if their "best competitors" are against each other. "At some point, you pick someone to trust and you go with that. And that's all there is to do. And I did that," Rob says, looking Douche in the eyes. Probst reminds everyone that Jerri's name has yet to come up and asks her how it feels to be stuck in between Rob and Li'l Russell, both figuratively and literally. Jerri says both alliances have come to her with good reasons to side with them and she just hopes her decision is the right one. With that, they vote.

We don't see how Sandra or Courtney vote, nor do we get to hear the personal insults that no doubt accompanied it. Shame. Rob votes for Li'l Russell, saying it's either him or Rob tonight. We don't see the name Jerri writes down, but she says she's making a choice that she hopes will be right for her in the end. Well, duh, Jerri. None of us thought you were going to cast a vote that would screw you over. Probst returns with the urn. I want Li'l Russell to be voted out so very much but I don't see how it's possible. The best I can hope for is a 4-4 tie, which means that I have to hope that Douche will make the right decision and get rid of Li'l Russell so everyone else can get some cameratime. And that means that he won't. Sigh. We're tied with three votes for Rob and three votes for Li'l Russell. Now it's time to see how Jerri and Douche voted. The fifth vote is for Courtney, which confuses Li'l Russell until he realizes that the vote must have been cast by Douche, because if Jerri was going to go insane and vote for someone besides Rob and Li'l Russell she probably would have voted for Parvati. The last vote is for Rob. It's accompanied by a sad face, but that doesn't make up for it. BOOOO, Jerri! BOOOOO! You are an idiot for this! The explanation I can think of is that she wanted to make sure that she was in the majority alliance post-merge and was afraid that Parvati and her alliance would team up with Amanda and uh ... well, that's it, really. Everyone else from Season 16 alliance is gone. But she's probably correct in figuring that the Heroes would be more likely to go with Li'l Russell than with Rob. Jerri gives Rob a big hug as he stands up, and Douche runs over to do the same, only to get shut down hard core. "You're a little man," Rob says, and walks away from him. OUCH. If Douche hadn't just helped Li'l Russell stay in this game for at least another week, I would feel sorry for him. He is going to cry an ocean of tears when they get back to camp about this, and he won't have Tyson or Rob to comfort him. Meanwhile, I love how he spent the entire episode talking about how important honor and trust and loyalty were to him, then ended up breaking his promises to both Rob AND Li'l Russell by voting for Courtney. That wasn't a vote to keep the tribe strong, as he claimed, but a way to get rid of Rob without actually having to write his name down. I think he was hoping that move would enable to stay BFFs with Rob, but instead it lost whatever respect Rob had for him in the first place. Rob's torch is extinguished as Jerri watches with the corners of her mouth turned down just like Lill used to do in Season 7 and Beaker used to do on The Muppet Show. Of course, Probst is thrilled to bits that Li'l Russell has made yet another "bold move," even though it violated Probst's No. 1 rule of good Survivor play by getting rid of the tribe's strongest man.

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Survivor

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