Survivor

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April Fool

Rob has a talk with Douche, who says he's thinking of voting for either Parvati or Courtney tonight. Has Douche ever not wanted to vote for a woman? Of course, Rob doesn't want Courtney to go, even after Douche makes his case for getting rid of her, saying she's the weakest player on the team and she, along with Sandra, have to sit out of every challenge. Rob asks Douche how he's being loyal right now by rallying to get rid of one of their allies, then asks if Parvati is more of a threat to them than Li'l Russell. So it only took seven episodes, but Rob is finally sort of thinking that Li'l Russell might be a threat. He says Li'l Russell is dangerous and can't be trusted, then asks Douche how Jerri is feeling about everything. "I haven't talk to her. I talk to you first cause you're my right-hand man," Douche says. By the way, that's a lie. He totally talked to Jerri about switching alliances. Most of that was crying over his hurt feelings, but still. "I'm telling you right now, as sure as anything, I want to be standing with you on the last day," Douche says. Rob assures him that this will happen, but could not possibly sound less enthused about it. Douche agrees to vote for Li'l Russell and shakes Rob's hand on it to seal the deal. "Get that little bastard outta here," Douche says, trying for all the world to sound cool for his hero. Rob interviews that he's using the reputation for being loyal that Douche holds dear (even though he doesn't actually have it) to force Douche to vote the way Rob wants. He says that if Douche wants everyone to think he's loyal and trustworthy and basically above everyone in this game, then he'll have to do what he promised.

Cut to Douche sitting on the beach with Jerri, Li'l Russell, and Danielle. Li'l Russell wants to get rid of Courtney and then Sandra, which Douche finds admirable since it means that Li'l Russell is targeting the weakest players in the tribe and not Rob. Douche does not seem to understand that Li'l Russell is targeting Courtney and Sandra because they're in Rob's alliance, not because they're weak. If Courtney and Sandra were in Li'l Russell's alliance and Parvati and Danielle were in Rob's, he'd be rallying to get rid of them instead. Doesn't Douche remember how Li'l Russell's alliance targeted Tyson at the last Tribal Council? They had the perfect opportunity to take out one of the "weaker" players then, but didn't. So obviously all this talk about trying to "keep the team strong" is bullshit and everyone knows it. Everyone except Douche. Someone suggests "blindsiding" Rob instead, which makes Douche very uncomfortable. Li'l Russell acts like this is an entirely new idea to him and appeals to Douche's ego by saying that if they did get rid of Rob, they wouldn't suffer in challenges because they still have the combined strength of Douche and Li'l Russell. "I'm ready to get rid of that fool," Li'l Russell says. Douche continues to waffle, saying he doesn't "feel right" about it. Danielle, meanwhile, decides to finally speak up and it turns out that she's really annoying and kind of a nag. Even so, when Li'l Russell asks for Douche's word, he gives it.

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Survivor

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