Smallville

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Raiders of the Lost Heart

Planet basement. Lois is waiting for Clark, rearranging their nameplates so that they're closer together. She takes care in positioning her offering of donuts and coffee, as well. Clark walks up behind her, making all manner of nervous schoolboy faces before greeting her. She thrusts the donuts at him, but they prove not to be the conversation starter that she'd hoped. They awkwardly circle around to their own desks and then start talking over each other. Before they can sort out what each meant to say to the other, Cat Grant interlopes into the scene with her own particular brand of annoying cheer. She remarks on Lois's snazzy sandals. "You should see what's underneath the jacket," Lois says. Cat, clearly interpreting this as an admission of nudity, makes an icky face. Clark makes a hopeful face. Lois sets them both straight: "Oliver asked me to cover the gala at the museum; it's themed." Lois teases Cat about not being invited. Cat responds by plopping her perky little behind on Clark's desk and cooing about working together again. "Our names looked terrific side by side on that byline," she says. "It's like we were meant to be partners, Clark!" She goes on: "You're the Popeye to my Olive, the Mickey to my Minnie!" "The sick to my stomach," Lois offers. What's the female equivalent of getting into a penis-measuring contest? Is it breasts? Because Lois has Cat beat. Cat goes on to mention the missing Isis amulet and invites Clark to check out LuthorCorp's loading dock with her. "That's where the amulet was supposed to arrive," she explains. Lois has a look at Cat's folder and recognizes the amulet as the one she saw in Egypt. Clark begs off, saying he has a "personal interview." He gestures to Lois to meet him on the roof in five minutes.

Lois and her gigantic purse walk out onto the roof. Dried leaves blow around her feet. Where did leaves come from that high up? Mutant flying trees? Lois takes some time to prep herself before Clark arrives, digging in her gigantic purse for a tube of lipstick, but coming up with the Isis amulet instead. As she holds it up, the sun shines through the stone disk of the amulet. Light whooshes around Lois with such vigor that it peels her trench coat right off her, baring the sexy and coincidentally Egyptian outfit underneath. Lois dons the necklace and walks up to the roof ledge. Clark opens the door behind her and remarks on her beauty. Lois turns to look at him. Clark asks if she got the necklace for the gala. "It's so... Egyptian." Never at a loss for adjectives, is he? "I must locate the treasures of Isis," Lois says with a slightly deepened voice. "You mean the article that Cat's working on?" Clark asks. Lois narrows her eyes at him. "Where is this 'Cat' now?" It would be funny if she were picturing a literal feline at this point. Clark tells her, but asks her to stay put so that he can tell her something important. Lois cocks her head at him as he blabbers about the time he told her this important thing and "things got out of control" and so on. He takes a deep breath. "I'm the Blur," he says. "That is of no importance to me," Lois says. Clark's eyebrows fly up toward his hairline. "'No importance' as in it doesn't change the way you feel about me, or 'no importance' as in you--" He doesn't get to finish his question because she's turning away from him and stepping up onto the edge of the roof. "Lois!" he calls after her. She looks over her shoulder at him. "This vessel might have once been called 'Lois,' but now it serves Isis." With that, she launches herself off the roof and into the sky, flames trailing after her. Clark looks mildly confused. He's going to take the commercial break to think about things.

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Smallville

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