It’s A Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World, Part II

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 1 USERS: B+
The Passion Of The Chris, Part II

Off Mangy Jesus' sneer, we cut back to the dead-eyed Psycho in his playpen up in the nonexistent attic. Big Gay Chris, standing at the Book and looking positively angelic in the soft white backlight flooding through the windows, glances briefly at his brother before returning to his research. That floorboard creaks. Chris snaps his head up to dart his eyes around the apparently empty room as the camera swings a semicircle around his head. More creaking. Chris darts over to the playpen and bends to orb out with the Psycho. The invisible Snidely -- because, come on, you know it's him -- backhands Chris across the room to smash into a table before crashing to the floor. Snidely uncloaks to loom over the Psycho as Chris scrambles to his feet. "Don't make me sacrifice you both," Snidely warns, and if I were Chris, I'd get the fuck out of the attic right about now and plan on rescuing the Psycho later. Unfortunately, Chris decides otherwise, and slams Snidely to the opposite end of the floor with some telekinesis of his own. Snidely swings his head around to glare at Chris and conjures that dagger into his right hand before recloaking. Chris, stupidly -- oh, how stupid he is at this moment -- physically charges towards the playpen, rather than orbing over. He barely makes it halfway before Snidely uncloaks and plunges that damned dagger into Chris's stomach. Chris gasps, "Dad!" before collapsing to the carpet.

Meanwhile, the Dolt's collapsing to the tile over at The Only Hospital In San Francisco. Mangy Jesus tosses the Dolt one last supremely dismissive glare before stalking off down the hall and blinking out as the hallucination ends. Big Gay Chris's faint cry for help reaches the Dolt's supernatural ears as Barbas flickers back in to gloat, "In trying to save one son, you have lost both. Very, very sad." Barbas flickers out just as Brian Krause unleashes his patented Constipated Chimpanzee Face Of Unbearable Anguish And Torment, and I am instantly struck blind. Judging from what I can hear, though, the Dolt eventually pulls it together to orb back to the nonexistent attic in time to watch Snidely pink-orb out with the Psycho. The Dolt hovers over his -- let's face it -- mortally wounded son as Big Gay Chris grimaces in agony all the way out into the commercial break.

Barbas's Lair. Snidely pink-orbs in with the Psycho so that the gargantuan hams can devour what little remains of the set after that last scene they had together while they figure out a way to slaughter the toddler. Barbas eventually loses patience and dives for the Psycho with an athame, but the Psycho orbs out, sending Barbas face-first into the dirt. And that's pretty much all there is to say about that one. Next!

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