Smallville
Jitters

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Shake It Up

Bo Duke goes in. Jitterman greets Bo with a smile and even uses the speaker to apologize to Clark for the night before. That kryptonite villain with the jitters? He's a class act, folks. Jitterman, lying in bed, explains that the supposed murder was an accident, and that he was just trying to find out what they were using on "Level 3." "Earl, you're not making any sense," Bo Duke says. Jitterman explains that he was assigned to clean Level 3 at Luthorcorp, where crop experiments were being done. An experiment on a new kind of fertilizer that could make corn grow twice as fast. Bo Duke gives a cornoerotic look, clearly intrigued by this growth dynamic. Jitterman goes on to say that there was an explosion, he got stuff under his skin, and everything was shut down. "Then two months ago," Jitterman says with his unbelievably deep voice, "the jitters started." I got chills. Tiny ones, but still. Jitterman says he tried to find out what poisoned him, but when he went back to the plant, he was told Level 3 didn't exist. Bastards! He asks Bo Duke's help in finding out what they were using. Bo Duke looks reluctant. Or maybe it's constipation. Bo Duke tries to end the conversation, but Jitterman grabs Bo by the shirt and jacket and panics that the jitters are getting worse and he's running out of time. He almost cries when he says he lost his job, his marriage, and his baby. That Tony Todd can act his ass off. "Help me," he finally whispers. "You get some rest, Earl," Bo Duke says by way of a dismissal, and puts his hand on Jitterman's perfect bald head.

Bo Duke walks out of the hospital room. Clark asks if Bo Duke believes Jitterman. "I have no idea," Bo says. Clark tells Bo that he has a field trip to Luthorcorp that afternoon. Because that's not at all convenient to the purposes of the plot. Bo says that Jitterman might not be in his right mind, and asks Clark not to do anything. Except we're hearing it from inside the room. Jitterman can hear them through his intercom! That crafty Jitterman.

Elevator. Overhead shot of Jitterman in a wheelchair with a policeman guarding him. We pan down in a spiral straight onto his head. He starts to jitter violently. Outside the elevator, a little girl is telling her mommy that she doesn't want to go to the doctor and get a shot. The daughter, clearly smarter than her mom, says, "That's what you said last time." Then she says, "Mommy!" when the elevator opens and there's a beat-up guard on the floor and an overturned wheelchair. The business end of the handcuffs attached to the chair are undone. Jitterman has escaped. And I say "yay!" to that.

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Smallville

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