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Just Ass

Kent kitchen. Li'l Flash has just stuffed himself with a king's breakfast. He's giggling and telling MamaKent that it's sooooo good. MamaKent is stunned that Li'l Flash eats more than Clark and is half his size. Li'l Flash says that he burns a lot of calories. MamaKent says that she has to run to a meeting, but that there's plenty more in the fridge; she asks if he minds cleaning up. MamaKent grabs her coat, waves it toward the camera -- the better to make a clean camera cut -- and turns to find the kitchen neat and tidy again. Rubbing a glass with a dishtowel, Li'l Flash says, "Anything for you, Mrs. Kent." Hey, calm down, buddy. Don't go all Finch on us here. Clark enters. Li'l Flash tells Clark that he just missed a killer spread. Watch it, kid! No more Stifler's Mom talk! Clark tells Li'l Flash to cut the lies. What, are you saying that breakfast wasn't delicious? You bastard! Clark says he knows about the LuthorCorp break-in, which was committed by someone as fast as Clark himself. "Faster, actually," Li'l Flash corrects him. Clark bitterly says he believed the kid's talk about how his life was changed. Li'l Flash says that he is a different guy now. Clark says that Li'l Flash stole from Lex before and he's doing it again. Li'l Flash turns away and growls, saying that it's complicated. "I'm a smart guy, explain it to me!" Clark bellows. All right, Clark. You really want to know? When a man and a woman, or two very hot men or women, love each other very much...they lie in a bed together and rub bellies until a big bird brings them a baby. Are you happy now!? God, I feel so dirty. Li'l Flash says that he can't tell. "I thought we were amigos!" Clark whines. Li'l Flash says that they are. Clark still wants to know why he's stealing. Li'l Flash sighs that he can't say. Clark spots Li'l Flash's backpack, and says he'll find out for himself. Flash grabs the backpack before Clark can get to it. He says that he can't tell all his secrets, and that he thought Clark would understand that. Li'l Flash books it out of there, leaving the door open. Yeah, how's it feel to be whooshed out on, Clark?

Talon apartment. Lois is packing up her stuff in a suitcase. Chloe is lying on the bed nearby. Lois says that it's just a vacation. Chloe corrects her, saying that Palm Springs is a vacation -- Monte Carlo is a fairy tale. Lois hopes that Prince Charming won't be disappearing every five minutes. Chloe pulls an item out of a froofy Victoria's Secret-style shopping bag. It's a very skimpy lime-green teddy. Chloe thinks Lois will be able to keep Oliver's attention. Lois says that she doesn't shop there for just anybody. He has to have money and ambiguous hair highlights. She pulls the item over her made-for-lingerie rack and asks Chloe if she should go with a black teddy instead. Chloe thinks that green is Oliver's color. Clark walks in just then, yelling, "Hey, Chloe!" He stares dumbly at Lois in her negligee. "God, Smallville, learn how to knock!" Lois tells him, all grossed out. She says she could have been naked. Clark chuckles. "Ew!" says Lois. Chloe tells Clark about Lois's trip to Monte Carlo. Lois says that she'll send a postcard if she's not too busy. Clark tries to warn her not to go or some damn thing, but Lois somehow takes that as a signal that she should get some new bikinis. She picks up her purse and goes to do just that.

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