Smash
Let’s Be Bad

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Anything Goes

Ivy's confrontation with Derek doesn't go entirely great. It's more just talking in circles, where she gets angry at him for being such a cock, ignoring her in rehearsals, playing head games. Derek, for his part, basically says that this is his process, and also that she's not allowed to find this at all pretentious or irritating. She's not allowed to have hurt feelings, because the only feelings she's supposed to be feeling are Marilyn feelings. And yet, after all this, Karen's life STILL bums me out more than Ivy's.

While we're on the subject of the highs and lows of sex in the theater world, we're treated to a post-coital shot of Tom and John in bed, as they both fumble around admitting that they just finished what may have been the most disappointing bout of humping in either of their lives. But rather than be awkward about it, they kind of just laugh? It's cute, I guess, or it would be if Tom were endearing, which I am pained to admit he's kind of not.

Finally, I can put if off no longer, the Julia subplot. So Leo's arrest could end up affecting the adoption that we all know he wants so badly, much like any teenager desperately wants a baby sister. He's all surly towards Julia about the pot bust, until later when Michael visits. Apparently, Leo and "Swifty" are great friends? He stays over for dinner and tells tales out of school about he and Julia smoking pot after performances or something. Meanwhile, I'm dismayed to learn that Julia's insane apartment is in Carroll Gardens. That bitch! She's, as you can imagine, super uncomfortable about this visit, and ends up calling for a car to take this constant reminder of her infidelity away from her. As she and Michael wait for the car on her front steps, it becomes clear that he wants to re-kindle their affair. So he sings "A Song for You" to her.

Hey, Smash, here's the thing: we've all watched American Idol. I know you think we haven't, what with that "Introducing Kat McPhee" business, but we have. And as such, songs like "Beautiful" and "A Song For You" have been run into the ground and stomped flat. There's no more juice in them. Pick new songs. There are a lot of them. Anyway, Julia puts Michael in a car, but he ends up running back up to her and kisses her in a way that gives me the Pavlovian feeling like it should be raining.

Oh, also, this all happens in full view of anyone who might be passing on the street, or, say Leo, who is looking down from his bedroom window. How could Julia have expected that this public makeout session could backfire??

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