Episode Report Card
admin: A | 1 USERS: A-
Para-Lionel Universe

He busts into the room only to find it abandoned. It's basically a storage room, with glass cabinets still full of lab supplies or drugs. A small cot provides the only resting place. A stack of crates serves as a makeshift table, on which a chessboard sits, the pieces waiting for a match that will never take place. Good Lord, how depressingly lonely. Tess starts to back out of the room, making an excuse about going back to Watchtower for something, but Clark finds Alexander's copy of Peter Pan. He reads the inscription aloud: "Dearest Tess, Thanks for the read, but I'm all grown up now. Alexander." Tess stops in her tracks. Clark fixes her with a look of confusion and betrayal. "You knew about all this," he breathes. "After everything Oliver and I did to trust you, this is how you repay us?" Tess tries to explain she only wanted to protect Clark, but he's furious. His mood doesn't improved any when he sees a blackboard full of Alexander's S-shield scribbles. Tess sees it a moment later, and drops her gigantic purse in shock. "You're no better than he is," Clark says. Like a crow, his eye is drawn to the shiny object now peeking out of Tess's purse. It's a narrow, mirrored box decorated with Kryptonian symbols. Clark grabs it. "What else are you hiding, Tess?" "I only just received it," she promises. Before she can tell him why she has it, he twists the two sides of the box so that the symbols align. (The symbols probably say something like "DO NOT TWIST, FOOL!") There's a flash of light and Clark finds himself lying in bed with two dark-haired ladies draped all over him.

He looks around, more confused than usual. All the colors are desaturated and gritty. Also, he appears to be in the Luthor mansion. He gets up and pulls on a T-shirt, his confusion mounting when instead of his usual S-shield, he finds an unfamiliar U-shield. A mysteriously not-dead Lionel Luthor appears in the doorway behind him, not bothering to knock or ask permission to enter, because he's not just not-dead but not-polite, as well. As Clark begins to freak out, Lionel begins to quote Marcus Aurelius: "When you arise in the morning, think what a privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to enjoy, to love, to think." Thinking isn't really Clark's strong suit, dude. Lionel tosses an article of clothing to Clark. "We Luthor men must seize our day," he says. "You only live once, Son." Clark boggles. Somebody save him! Also, somebody give Lionel slightly less cliché things to say!

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