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Metal Of Horror

Mmmm Michael Rosenbaum signature promo. The WB frog just wet itself.

We're almost through, I swear. Lana swears to Clark that she'll shoot. Clark slowly turns his head toward Carn-Evil. "Get away from him, Clark!" Lana calls out. Clark lets Carn-Evil go. Carn-Evil does his Jedi magnetism, and pulls the gun through the air and into his own hand. He tells Lana that he can take it from here. He points the gun at Clark. He tells Lana to meet him outside. Lana goes. "You need help," Clark tells Carn-Evil. Carn-Evil says that Clark is just saying that because he wants Lana back. But does he? Clark wants a woman like the late Dr. Atkins wanted a cup of sugar and a stack of toast. Carn-Evil cocks his gun and begins firing. Clark dodges and dives over a carnival ride. More gunshots. Carn-Evil is out of bullets. Uh oh. Clark emerges from behind the ride and brushes off some bullet slugs that got stopped by his shoulder. "Looks like I'm not the only one with special powers," Carn-Evil says. He tries his mighty dual-wrist action (I think they did a Real Sex about that, too) and lifts a ride. He tosses it at Clark. Clark catches it and is pushed back against a wall. This is totally like the Yoda/Count Dooku showdown in Star Wars, only not as cool. "You can't fight physics," Carn-Evil says, as he uses his electric boogaloo to pin Clark to the wall. Clark is pushed through a flimsy backdrop, and sees an electrical panel. "Neither can you!" Clark yells, and pulls a trusty electrical cord out of the wall. He somehow creates a magnetic field with the car and the electricity, pulling Carn-Evil onto the front of the little buggy. Carn-Evil is getting electrocuted. How does Clark know this won't kill him? Does he even care? Carn-Evil falls in a smoky heap. Now, Clark goes to help him.

That was too easy.

Medical Center. Lex emerges from an elevator and spots someone mopping with a huge "Community Service" print on the back of a blue jumpsuit. It's Lana. Lex goes to her and compliments her outfit. "It goes with the community service," Lana says. Ya think? She says she's getting off easy for what she did. That jumpsuit looks really loose on Lana. Lana thanks Lex for his help. "What good are lawyers if they can't jump through hoops?" Lex asks. Lex asks about Carn-Evil. Lana says he's still in a coma, and that they don't know what he'll remember if he ever wakes up. Sigh. This again. Lana apologizes for letting Lex down. She asks for her job back at The Talon. "Done," Lex says, before she's even finished asking. He says he makes a lousy latte. I'll bet he's good with the steamed milk, though. Lex tells Lana that he did a lot worse things than stealing a sports car when he was her age. Like what? He also says he's the last person to fault someone for falling for the wrong person. So Lex's forgiveness is predicated on the fact that nobody can do worse than what he did as a teen. He tells Lana that he's sure there's somebody out there for her. Notice he said "out there." He's breaking Clark off for himself for good.

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