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Metal Of Horror

The office of The Torch. Chloe is looking at some proofs with a magnifier on a light table. She greets somebody walking in by saying she's glad he could show up, not that Clark operates on the same speed as the rest of the world. Except it's not Clark. Lex has paid Chloe a visit. "Interesting observation," he says. He's wearing a zip-up jacket and a dark purple shirt. Nice. Chloe immediately says that Clark's not there. Lex says he's there to see Chloe. He knows about her checking into his dad. Snoopers check in, but they don't check out. Chloe licks her lips. Lex says that her name was on a Metropolis county records log. Why didn't Chloe cover her tracks better? She could have called herself Honey West or Sprinkle Talulah or Wendy Jo Sperber. Chloe tries to play it off all casual, drinking her coffee and saying she's just doing a story for the high-school paper. Lex asks whether the story involves obscure childhood medical records. Those are public? Chloe says she's just being thorough. "The mark of a good reporter," Lex says. Lex says that Chloe is a good reporter -- so good that Papa Luthor pulled strings to make her the youngest columnist in the history of The Daily Planet. Chloe's fed up. She asks what he wants. Lex just wonders why a high-school reporter is digging so deep into his father's past. Chloe gulps. Lex says he'll ask Papa Luthor at dinner. Chloe tells Lex to go ahead; the only way he could have found out about this is if he was digging up dirt himself. Well played, Sullivan. Well played. Lex says that at least he's prepared for what he might find: "I'm not so sure you know what you've gotten yourself into." Please. Chloe's dealt with nasty Kryptonite freaks on a weekly basis. Long dramatic pause. Lex exits.

The Talon at night. Outside, the marquee reads, "Smallville's Best Cappuccino." Inside, Lana is filling sugar containers from what looks like an ice bucket. The things Lana does at The Talon are going to get more and more random as the show goes on. By Season Five, she's going to be cleaning the grease traps with a feather duster. Clark approaches her and apologizes. Ah, gah, damn. One of those scenes. Clark admits that he was bothered by Lana's getting asked out. He just came to tell Lana he killed Carn-Evil, and he hopes she'll tell no one. Clark says he has to get used to the idea that Lana will be dating other people. Lana ducks her head and walks away, giving her back to Clark as she tells him she didn't mean for that to happen in front of him. Tiny shovel, sugar. Lana's brow furrows, and she says she doesn't even know why she agreed to go out with Carn-Evil. Must be MRI pity. Lana says maybe she was just subconsciously trying to make Clark jealous. Even in her subconscious, Lana is an asshole. Clark does a funny strutting walk over to Lana and says, "So you're not really into him?" Hey, Lana, how you doin'? Lana says that the guy is nice enough, but that there's no sparks. I have a special CBS news bulletin for Lana from Dan Rather. Take it away, Dan: "Scientists reported today that Lana Lana couldn't generate sparks with another character if she had a mountain of flint and a truckload of steel. Thank you and goodnight." Lana mentions, by the way, that Carn-Evil is about to pick her up. Clark says that he knows it's none of his business, but that if she doesn't feel "that way" about Carn-Evil, she shouldn't lead him on. Oh, give me just a tiny jagged piece of a candy bar called "A Break." Clark and Lana have been leading each other on in circles like blind Clydesdales for two and a half seasons now. Lana gives Clark a stern look just as Carn-Evil shows up and asks if Lana is ready to go. Lana seems surprised to see her date, even though she was expecting him. She says that maybe they should sit down. Carn-Evil gives Clark the over-the-shoulder stink-eye as Lana leads him to a table.

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