House
Meaning

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When Arlene sits Richard up, he groans. House asks her to put him down and asks Richard to groan again. He does. I've translated groan into English for you: "Quit telling my wife to put me in a home, you fucker." House does not have a groan-to-English dictionary, but he insists that Richard just spoke to him.

House brings the Richard's files into the Meeting Room on a skateboard for no reason and tells them to start diagnosing. The Cottages are confused, thinking that he's talking about yoga girl, who Chase says walked out of PPTH not two hours ago, totally healthy. Except for those raging case of beriberi and rickets she'll be returning to PPTH with at various times during the upcoming season. Hope that goiter doesn't make it too difficult to do a downward dog! Anyway, when the Cottages realize that they're dealing with the other patient, Cameron's got a diagnosis ready to go: "He had brain cancer. They removed it -- eight years ago. His condition's been the same ever since." Wait, House says. It's gotten better. Richard is now speaking. Sort of. The Cottages are none-too-thrilled to be sifting through eight years of a complicated medical history to find out why a guy is grunting. House doesn't care; he tells them to find him when they're done. He'll be outside trying to skateboard.

Wilson's there, too, unfortunately. He psychoanalyzes that House is trying to find a problem in Richard that doesn't exist because House is bored. And he's giving Richard's family false hope and torturing them. Grunting is not talking, Wilson says. House then executes a stationary frontside 90 ollie off a bench, Hugh Laurie's stunt double ably managing to spin himself away from the camera. Hugh comes back in a close up and announces that he "stuck that primo!" He was not, however, saying that he did a primo, as that is a trick where you stand on side of the skateboard and do other crazy things. Despite his misuse of skateboard terminology, House stills believes himself to be quite rad. Cowabunga.

House skateboards past a group of college girls, who check him out and giggle to themselves. He probably thinks they're giggling flirtatiously, but I'd guess it's more like "look at that old guy who thinks he's cool." House's parade is soon rained upon when his bad leg seizes up on him. He picks up his skateboard and walks the rest of the way. No X-Games for you, House.

Meanwhile, the Cottages are mulling over Richard's medical records for a differential. Dry eyes, Foreman says, could indicate something that I'm sure Richard doesn't have so I'm not going to bother looking it up. Chase and Cameron moan and groan about how pointless this exercise is, but Foreman says that he's happier solving medical mysteries than making a guy's tendon feel better. "I took this fellowship to learn from House," Foreman says, taking a second to check his head and make sure it hasn't exploded from all the self-satisfaction that's up there.

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House

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