House
Meaning

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The next morning, the Whiteboard O'Symptoms has made up for its summer of disuse by being covered in symptoms and differential diagnoses, all written in the neat penmanship of -- I'm guessing -- appointed secretary Cameron. Some idiot wrote "anorexia" on the board, because we all know that brain-damaged quadriplegics really have a say in what they eat and when. "Diarea" is also listed as a symptom. Nice spelling, Prop Guy. Actually, there are quite a few misspellings on that board. I guess they weren't expecting to be critiqued by an angry girl with too much time on her hands and a firm grip on the pause button on her remote. After checking out the board, House diagnoses Richard with pancreatic cysts, which Cameron snorts would include the one symptom Richard doesn't have -- abdominal pain. House points out that Richard can't exactly tell anyone whether he has abdominal pain or not, which Cameron probably could have figured out herself if she hadn't just been up all night long looking up symptoms but not how to spell them. House orders an endoscopic ultrasound to find the cysts, which Foreman dismisses, saying Richard's neck muscles are too weak and will collapse. House disagrees; as long as the guy can hold his neck straight, keep from drooling, and not choke on his food, his neck muscles should be fine.

Chase and Foreman scoff their way through the endoscopic ultrasound, so pointless and needlessly dangerous this exercise is. The pancreas looks fine, and then Richard's throat collapses, as predicted. The tube is stuck in Richard's throat, and they have to do a tracheotomy to keep him breathing.

Chase informs House what a horrible plan this all was as the crew lounge outside and watch House do more skateboard tricks. More diagnostic tricks, too, as House thinks that the throat seizing up when it was supposed to be sedated means that there's something wrong with whatever part of Richard's brain is supposed to tell his body to relax when under sedation. And that, House thinks, means cancer. Cameron hates cancer, and jumps up to dramatically put her hand in front of House and stop his skateboarding because she has a Point To Make: House is enjoying what amounts to torturing a patient for no reason. House won't be stopped, though, and wants to look at Richard's brain lining for tumors in a process that is probably extremely dangerous and painful for the poor guy. Cameron tells House that if he's so set on doing this, then he can go get permission from the Arlene for the procedure.

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House

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