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Papa Don't Screech

A bright light shines in the room. Tinfoil asks Papa Luthor to take a look at what he's set up. There are two steel buckets underneath two faucets. Papa goes over and puts a finger under the faucet, and then smells the liquid. "Not exactly spring water, is it?" Tinfoil asks. Papa eyes the meat hook. "Ah, a good story always needs a hook, wouldn't you agree?" Tinfoil says. Oh, fucking groan. Papa asks what happens now. A game, of course. "Show me," Papa says. The screen goes to static, and then comes back to show someone in a suit and tie walking carefully, balancing the two buckets on a pole. Tinfoil explains that the buckets are the scales of justice, and that Papa Luthor will have to fill them with liquid from the tap. Tinfoil says that Papa Luthor has to balance it on the hook. If he's successful, the door to the room will open. On the black-and-white video, we see the guy in the suit try to lift the buckets and balance them on the hook, as flames rise at his feet. The buckets fly off-balance, and flames engulf the poor dude. He screams and flails. Tinfoil says that "Alex" didn't do too well. Papa looks at the charred body in the corner. We hear screams from the video. Apparently, the liquid is very flammable. Papa Luthor removes his suit jacket and places it over the dead body. "He was my driver, an innocent man!" Papa Luthor cries. Tinfoil says that no one connected to Papa Luthor is innocent. "Ready to play?" Tinfoil asks. Papa resists. He says that he will jump through no hoops. Tinfoil says that, in a few minutes, the flames will rise and burn Papa Luthor for his sins if he doesn't play along. We see a bunch of pipes erupt in gas-powered flames beneath the room. Mmm, propane sure does burn clean. The flames line almost every part of the room around Papa Luthor. This is gonna be fun.

Lair of Lex. Next to the fireplace, Lana and Lex are playing chess with his expensive Franklin Mint set. Lana tries to make a very incorrect move, but then puts the piece (a rook, I believe), back where it belongs. Nice non-move. Lex tells her to take her time. He says that the key to chess is anticipating your opponent's moves and keeping him on the defensive. I thought you didn't play, chump. "Lex, what are we doing?" Lana asks, numbly. Ha. And here we thought she was curious. Lex says that he thought they were enjoying an evening of chess. "I think I have Monopoly," he says. He's not even talking about the game. Lana says that Lex knows what she's talking about. The kiss! What the fuck, dude! Come on! Lex says that he was hoping she'd bring it up. Lana stares at Lex, and says, coyly, "You kissed me." Lex looks down. He points at her: "And then you kissed me back." We have the recap as evidence, yes. Lana scoffs, and gets up, walking toward the camera for effect. She says that after all the talk about not wanting to ruin the friendship, they don't listen very well. You mean Al and Miles? Lex gets up, too, and asks Lana whether she wants him to forget what happened. He says that, short of a blow to the head, he thinks he'll carry that memory for quite a while. Lex gets a blow to the head and shot in the chest in almost every episode. I don't think that's declaring much.

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