Alias
Mockingbird

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 12 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Boobs McPhee: Wonder Whiner

I know. It hurts me too, children. It hurts me too.

Apple Store. Boobs is scribbling on some papers. Syd approaches, bearing a glass of water and a delicious turkey sandwich on a china plate. No vending-machine Munchos™ for the Appleseed Gang! Syd tells Boobs she needs to eat and get some rest and that the debriefing can wait, but Boobs says the sooner she gets through this, the sooner they can tackle bringing Gordo to justice. Actually, she delivers a rather long speech about being held together by a thread and knowing the truth and the mercenary organization and killing all her coworkers and so on; but the nutshell version is, the sooner she finishes, the sooner they go nab Gordo and she gets to ease her conscience. There's a nice little moment when Syd tells Boobs not to call her "Ms. Bristow," but other than that, nothing much of note happens. Oh, except for when Syd mentions that the name "Mockingbird" keeps floating up in Boobs's data; what does it mean? Boobs says it's her call sign. No, Boobs! "Boobs" is your call sign! Silly Boobs!

And now is the time on Alias when we promise to believe in the Baby Jesus again if he brings us an episode that rocks even a little bit.

Headquarters of the Badly Named Mercenary Organization. Gordo's talking to some sunken-cheeked dude about some target or something. The dude actually looks like the post-cheating Ethan Hawke, but with less guilt around the eyes. Gordo wants Post-Cheating Ethan Hawke to deal with the target, but we don't find out until much later in the episode who the target is or what Gordo wants done to/with him/her. After Post-Cheating Ethan Hawke leaves, Peyton walks over and informs Gordo that all their satellite locations have been abandoned. She hands him her laptop, telling him she needs his pass code to complete the wire transfer she's set up. He gets all hooded with her and she's like, damn you're paranoid! He runs a mercenary organization, Peyton, I'd saying being paranoid comes with the territory.

Apple Store. Marshall tells the troops that he's been monitoring Gordo's bank accounts and thirty minutes ago, Gordo liquidated everything. But not to worry; Marshall's on the case. He says he's quite the tracker. "I'm kinda like a Comanche Indian," he says. "You know…a Comanche Indian who…tracks data." Jack's face is like, "Nert. NERRRRRRT." Hee. Marshall goes on to say that Gordo stored all the funds in a Cayman Islands account designated -- "1017," interjects Boobs. "It's the agency failsafe account." She set it up and used her birthday, October 17, as the designation. Syd thinks they should just break into the account and take away Gordo's operational funds. Boobs is all, yeah, great idea, except for the fact that it's a trapdoor account and can't be hacked. You have to be at the bank to access it, and you need the prearranged responses to Gordo's protocol questions. Too bad the only copy of the protocol is on the server in Gordo's office back in Prague. You remember Prague, don't you? It fall down and go boom.

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Alias

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