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Losin' It

Lair of Lex. Lex is watching a video feed of Clark shocking himself on the laser electricity barrier at LuthorCorp. "This isn't possible," Lex mutters to himself. "Disappointed?" asks Clark. He's standing in the doorway in a blue flannel shirt. Lex closes his laptop and gets up, asking if everyone is all right. He heard what happened. Clark rears back and punches Lex right across the face. Hey, Lex. What did the five fingers say to the face? Smack! Lex, bloodied, asks what Clark is doing. "What I should have done a long time ago," Clark tells him. Rough sex? Clark lifts up Lex by the shirt and tells him he knows they were being watched in Level 3. Lex lies that he doesn't know what Clark is talking about. ...And he gets punched in the stomach and thrown down. Chloe also found out that Lex was at Belle Reve when the thugs escaped. Clark thinks Lex helped them to get out: "What did you promise them, Lex? Enough serum to last the rest of their lives?" Lex tells Clark he's being irrational. Clark says that the whole thing was a test. Clark says that Lex put Lana and his family in danger to carry it out. Lex starts to protest, but Clark punches him in the face again. Lex grunts on the ground. Clark: "I thought we could start over, Lex. But you're too obsessed with the past. And with me!" Clark whines. Sexy, sexy. Clark says he's through playing games. Clark tells Lex that if he wants to see what Clark's made of, he should do it himself. He throws a "Coward!" in there, too. Clark swings again, but Lex blocks it and throws a punch of his own, catching Clark on the mouth. Clark's lip bleeds. He looks at Lex triumphantly. "Satisfied?" Clark asks. Lex looks completely destroyed. Clark walks out.

The Talon at night. Clark shows up at Lana's apartment. Lana asks what happened. Clark says he was saying goodbye to an old friend. "You ever heard of a handshake?" she asks. Look, it's very late in the game to be saying so, but if Lana had better lines and delivered them the way she did in parts of this episode, I think we'd all like her character a whole lot more. A flat character coupled with borderline acting choices are what have made her so reviled. I don't want to hate this character, especially since she's never just going to go away. So, come on. Better lines. Better delivery. Less whispery angsty crap. Make her a strong, smart, occasionally amusing person and we'll accept her. Promise. Oh, and give her a job or something. What is it she's doing all day, anyway? Lana tends to Clark's busted lip. She sits him down on the couch as a jillion candles burn, a fireplace is going, and Coldplay is strumming away. Uh oh. I think Lana's chastity belt might be coming loose. Clark winces as Lana tries to clean his wound. "God. You're a mess," she says. She's not kidding. Clark says that with everything that's happened, he thought his life would be easier now. But, he says, you can't be certain what'll happen tomorrow. Oh. Just. Shut. Up. Lana says no, you can't. And that's the dialogue that leads to sex? Wow. Awful. I should have been a whiny moper in high school. Lana kisses Clark. She looks passionate for once. She backs away a bit and looks at Clark with teary eyes. She leads him to the middle of the floor. They kiss some more. She starts to unbutton Clark's shirt. The song, "A Message," continues. Lana admires Clark's bare chest. He takes off her shirt. We pan across some candles. Tonguage. Clark lays Lana down by the fireplace. They start to get it on as the camera pans away across Lana's apartment and toward an open window. We cut to an outside shot of the Talon's neon lights being shut off for the night. Pan up to the stars and a three-quarter moon. Will Lana get pregnant? Guess we'll just have to wait and see. Ha ha, Clark lost his virginity to a Coldplay song. Wuss.

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