Neanderthal Man

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Sucking At Puzzles

Back at Ulong, Bobby Jon and Steph are walking, and he's talking disbelievingly about how close he was to beating Tom. In an interview, Bobby Jon deems the defeat "heartbreaking." He tells Steph that he's just mightily tired of losing to Tom, and I can certainly believe that. They discuss the frustration of Bobby Jon's having to face Tom over and over when they both think he could beat anybody else on that tribe. Bobby Jon interviews that losing to Tom "is getting real, real old." Bobby Jon angrily chops some wood, and Steph interviews that she thinks Bobby Jon has actually taken the losses too much in stride up to this point, and it sounds like she's kind of happy that he's getting really pissed off at last. She stands around the cave and watches as he chops and accumulates firewood. We are to believe that this is the part where Bobby Jon begins to go crazy. Steph explains that guys apparently have some need to kick and punch and break things when they're mad, but she adds, "Half the time he scares me." CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! Bobby Jon is so scary! I hope he doesn't chop me.

We move from miserable Ulong over to Club Med, where Koror is staying. They sit at their little picnic table, staring out at the water. Janu relaxes in a hammock. Tom floats in the water. Katie tells us that "being undefeated is glorious," but that it leads to "days of monotony." Because basically, they're pampered, they don't have to strategize, and as individuals, they only have to compete in challenges, like, once a week now, if that. Katie predicts that once there's a merge, it's all going to get a lot less happy in a hurry. "No more happy Koror days," she says, and adds that their little "RAR!" chant will also be going the way of the dodo bird. She mentions that the tribe will be reduced to "eating each other," and then we see a little festival of feasting crabs, so that's quite a visual metaphor. I hope she's right, because if I wanted to watch people sitting around a table doing nothing, I'd go to my office picnic from 1999.

We now visit a meeting between Ian and Tom, in which Tom asks for "the State of the Union report." Ian says that the only problem he sees is Gregg and Anonymous Jen, and the fact that they might flip sides. So much for that huge secret, huh? Coby would be furious! Ian interviews that you can't leave a two-vote bloc like that lying around, so they know that at some point, it will be important to get rid of one of them. As he gets into discussions of strategy, though, he seems almost amused by how dumb he feels. "We are on the verge of utter ridiculousness," he says in a way that's so winning that I kind of don't care that it makes no sense. And then I am completely riveted as Tom mentions to Ian that they did get great news this morning when they found out that Stephenie has survived at Ulong. To my delighted shock, Tom interviews that he, Katie, and Ian made an alliance on the second day, and their alliance included Steph. And he's sort of thinking it still does. Man, I didn't even remember that, but it's totally true. Tom goes on to say that nobody knows about that alliance except for the four people in it: "Stephenie would be the wolf in the sheep's clothing that they wouldn't even see coming." And I almost get giddy when Ian says, "Final four would be me, you, Stephenie, and Katie." I don't care that much for Katie, but three out of four of the final four being people I would be delighted to see win? Three out of four people, any of whom I would consider the most satisfying Survivor winner ever? Are you kidding me? Swoon! I so wish that would happen. And remember when Koror voted on immunity for Ulong, and Steph got two votes, and I hoped one of them was Ian? It probably was! That was probably Ian and Tom! It's so exciting, I sort of care! (I think Katie is dopey enough to have voted for Ibrehem just to screw with Ulong -- I bet it was Tom and Ian who voted to protect Steph.)

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