New York

Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
How Do You Get To Carnegie Hall?

Will and the kids are assembled in the largest New York hotel room I've ever seen. And in my previous career as a high-priced NY rentboy, I've seen a lot of rooms. Kurt is giddy at the thought of late night room service: "I feel like Eloise." Brit: "I have pills for that." Will tells them they are on lockdown while they write their songs. Except that he's leaving them to write on their own, because of a hastily-made-up excuse that he has to go register them for Nationals at the theater.

Oh, but he's not going to the theater where the competition is taking place. Based on his unfortunate choice of headwear, I think he might be heading out to audition for new stage production of Newsies! But as he gets out of a cab, we see that he's arrived at a theater the marquis of which is advertising Crossrhodes: The April Rhodes Story. If he keeps lying to the kids, he might just get thrown out of the newsboys union.

Hotel room. We've arrived in time for Brit's performance of the song she's written. It's called "My Cup." And it's about a plastic bathroom cup. It's a totally fun song and a great performance, although I'm disturbed to learn that sometimes when Brit wakes up in the middle of the night, she wants to drink a cup of jam. But the other kids fail to recognize true genius when they hear it. Quinn announces that they have to get out of the room, because while they're stuck in there all they can do is write songs about the things they see, like cups and towels. Instead, they need to get out into the beating heart of New York and grab some inspiration. Finn points out that they really need to write two songs or they'll lose. Because the rules absolutely and clearly prohibit them from singing a single song they've ever sang in the past. Right? That's logical, in the Glee universe. Anyway, Quinn tells they kids they've got to get out of the room: "We don't need to write songs for Nationals. New York's going to write them for us."

Or maybe what New York will do is inspire them to sing someone else's song. In this case, Madonna's "I Love New York," mashed up with some lyrics from "New York, New York" from On the Town. They sing in Times Square, Lincoln Center, Central Park, and Washington Square. We cut to commercials, leaving me some time to gape in wonder at the ability of Heather Morris to dance and run in the heels she was wearing.

Back in the hotel room, the kids have returned from their walkabout. (Or maybe singabout is more appropriate.) The straight boys have gathered in one room. Finn looks up from his pad, and tells the guys he thinks one of their songs should be a Finn/Rachel duet. The others don't really care. And since the opinions of Kurt and the girls don't matter, I guess that's a go. Puck: "Okay, can we just talk about the Jewish elephant in the room?" Is Puck talking about his trunk? I really hope so. Oh, no, he means the idea, obvious to everybody in the damn universe, that Finn should ask Rachel out. Finn thinks that Rachel is too into Jesse at the moment, but Puck thinks that Finn should strike while they're in New York, the city of love. If by "love," you mean cheap and easy hookups, then yes, New York is the city of love. Sam: "This is your shot dude. If I was in love with a girl and I wasn't homeless, I would totally go for it."

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