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Tag-team Lex

Chloe, at her desk at The Torch, is looking at her computer screen, which, sadly, is green, but not an Alienware model. She tells Clark she's looking at surveillance footage from the hospital. I guess they don't have surveillance in the rooms themselves, or she could see EvilLex murdering Sinclair. Chloe reveals what we already knew: that she was with EvilLex while Clark was with PansyLex. Clark asks about "the time stamps." Clark doesn't know what the fuck a "time stamp" is! Come on! Chloe is forced to say, "Looks like our favorite billionaire has one hell of a split personality." Clark thinks the dialogue is stupid, too: "Yeah. Thanks," he says glumly. Clark turns to Lana. The scene ends abruptly.

We cut to a flaming fireplace. A flaming billionaire stabs it with a poker. The levels, people! So many levels! "Lex," Clark says, as he enters the room unannounced. Crack security team as ever, sir. Clark says he needs to talk to Lex. "This is important," Clark announces, for no really good reason. Lex says he always has time for a friend. "What did we talk about last night?" Clark asks. Lex says they talked about a lot of things. Antiquing in New Hampshire. Getting some legislation passed in Colorado. ACTing up. Also, the future and making the world a better place. "And then you started to feel sick," EvilLex says. He mentions that Clark said it was from the apple. Clark totally falls for the ruse and says, relieved, "That's right." Lex asks what this is about. Clark says he wanted to be sure who he's talking to. "What?" EvilLex asks, pretending to be perplexed. This would be a lot more suspenseful if we didn't already know which Lex it is that Clark is dealing with here. Clark tells Lex that someone murdered Dr. Sinclair. EvilLex asks who would do that. "Well, you would," Clark says. He shows Lex a printout of the "time-stamped" surveillance images. Clark says it was someone who looks like Lex. Clark tells Lex that Chloe pulled them off the hospital system. "How is this possible?" Lex asks. Clark tries to explain. Still playing dumb, the better to communicate with Clark, he asks if this Lex is some kind of copy. "I think he's a part of you that split off," Clark concludes. Lex leaves the room to put a security team together. He tells Clark to get Chloe and meet him at the lab. Uh, trappy much? Clark asks how he knows it's the real Lex. "Well, we could always try a secret handshake," Lex says amiably. A fluid sample, perhaps? Don't worry, Clark's already got one. Lex says that he thinks Clark knows him better than anyone. He promises to put an end to the whole thing tonight. Ominous.

Chloe and Clark have stupidly agreed to meet EvilLex at the lab. Alone. Lex tells them he put a team together. Clark asks if they can do anything to help. Well, you can show up alone to spring the delicious trap of -- er, no, nothing, really! Just hang, dudes. Lex takes a phone call. He says something good just happened. He tells them to stay right there and this will soon be over. He asks them to keep an eye out for his security people. Lamest trap ever. Chloe pokes around. Clark asks what she's doing. "Snooping where I don't belong," she says, "thinking of making a career out of it." Clark wants to stay where he is. Chloe asks how Clark can be sure it's really Lex. Shouldn't they have had this conversation before showing up and endangering themselves? Clark says he was careful. "I think I know my own friend," he says defensively. Chloe asks how many times Lex has done something underhanded that Clark didn't expect. How many times has Clark done that? Chloe blah blahs about secrets and hidden sides. This is really a Lana speech, if it were whinier. Chloe lectures Clark about sharing secrets with someone lest you spend your life all alone. Clark snoops and uncovers some glowing purple rock. He recoils. Chloe opens a locker. "Clark!" she calls. There's a guard in there, looking somewhat dead. Just then, EvilLex pushes the button on his trap! Go, Wile E. Coyote, go! A huge elevator-looking piece of metal crashes down, falling on Clark and Chloe. Clark dives on Chloe to protect her. Sparks fly. "Situation contained," EvilLex says. He stops as he hears something moving. He looks back to see Clark moving the giant pieces of metal off of himself and Chloe. "Chloe. Chloe," Clark says, pulling back her hair. She's unconscious and has a scratch on her face. Lex leaves the room. He seems to have figured something out…what could it be?

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