Smallville
Onyx

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Tag-team Lex

Commercials. The Burger King is scary. But not as scary as his ginormous breakfast sandwich.

Kent Farm at night. Bypassing the hospital for once, Chloe is being treated for her recent trauma with…a glass of water? Where's Bo and MamaKent? Clark asks if she wouldn't want to go to the hospital. She says that worked out really well for Dr. Sinclair. She insists she's fine. She asks Clark how she survived everything falling on her. Clark says the last thing he remembers is grabbing Chloe and diving underneath a lab table. "Good thing our ex-quarterback moves so fast," she says. You know, he probably could have used his super-speed there. Why didn't he? "Not fast enough," Clark says, pulling back Chloe's hair sweetly to reveal one of her bruise-decorated cuts. Chloe smiles brightly as she moves his hand away. She says she can live with a few bruises. But what about your heart, Chloe? What about your heart? Chloe says Clark's always there for her. She hopes she can be there for him, too, someday. Clark wants to make sure she's safe. She suggests staying at the military base with Lois. Chloe jokes that getting between Lois and IRONSIDE! may be just as dangerous. Chloe graciously pretends not to worry about Clark's own safety, given that Lex is trying to kill them. She tells Clark to be careful and leaves. ALONE. Jeez. These kids never learn.

Action Clark! Clark enters the barn, talking in a very deep voice into his cell phone. He tells the person on the other line to be careful: "Lex really isn't himself. He's more dangerous than we thought." Clark finishes the call with Lana. "Is that what you think of me, Clark?" EvilLex says. He's up the stairs, waiting. Sneaky man! EvilLex jokes that he thought they were friends. Clark super-zips upstairs. "Where's Lex?" he asks. EvilLex suggests himself. Clark says the real Lex would never try to kill him or Chloe. EvilLex says, hilariously, "You're probably right…but he's thought about it!" Very, very funny. EvilLex says that every time those darn kids have meddled, Lex has thought about killing all of them, but never had the guts to go through with it. "What are you?" Clark asks. Lex asks Clark the same question. "I was lucky," Clark says, of the incident in the lab with Chloe. EvilLex says Clark is much more than that. Blah blah about that first day on the bridge, how Lex always had suspicions. Feels like old ground, doesn't it? Lex concludes his little speech about Clark's "powers and abilities beyond those of mortal men." "You lied to me for years, Clark," Lex says. Finally. Something rings true. "I don't know what you're talking about," Clark lies, again. "Don't!" Lex yells, angrily. "I should have figured it out a long time ago," he says. He says all the pieces were there, but he was blinded by friendship. He says it's a factor that's been removed from the equation. Clark says whatever Lex is planning, he'll be stopped. Lex says that Clark is going to join him. "My intellect, your powers…together we could rule this world! We'll rule as gods among men!" Clark says they're not gods. He's not even sure Lex is human. "Are you?" EvilLex asks. Touché. Clark asks if the real Lex is still alive. "I am the real Lex!" EvilLex yells. "Is he still alive?" Clark insists. "Sort of," EvilLex answers. EvilLex does the classic villain bit where he reveals that he's keeping PansyLex hidden somewhere. Why would he tell Clark all this? EvilLex reveals what he'll do to GoodLex: "Maybe torture him a little when I'm feeling blue." EvilLex is suddenly too good for this show. Clark super-zips over and grabs EvilLex by the neck. "Where is he?" he yells. Clark suddenly falls and feels sick. EvilLex is sporting a Kryptonite ring. Nice! He puts it on his pointing finger. ExilLex offers a new future together. "I'll never join you," Clark Skywalkers. Lex says he will, or everyone he loves will suffer. He smacks Clark, launching him out of the loft, through some plywood and onto the ground outside.

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Smallville

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