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What It Takes To Walk

Note: Of all the recapping tasks I have ever been given, including Married By America, this episode is the most unpleasant.

Previously on Adam And Eve On A Raft...Would Go Faster Than This, Even If They Were Both Wearing Cast Iron Fig Leaves: Saboga was dissolved, and Rupert and Jenna were scattered to Chapera while Ethan and Jerri were scattered to Mogo Mogo. The former Sabogians were outrageously happy no longer to be at Camp Hell (motto: "The Closest You Can Get To Life Inside A Giant Bag Of Dirt"). The immunity challenge started out to be all about good-natured shoving and Ethan breaking his jaw, but naked Hatch decided that he would bump Sue with his crotch, which she didn't appreciate. After Mogo Mogo dropped the immunity challenge, the maneuvering began between Colby and Lex (who wanted to dump Hatch) and Jerri and Shii Ann (who wanted to dump Colby). Ultimately, the swing vote was Kathy, and she went with the Hatch boot, sending him home just in time to avoid whatever the equivalent of a court martial would be on this show. Who will be voted out tonight? Or, you know...not.

Credits. I wish that helicopter were coming to take me away from this episode. Instead, I was forced to consort with several very imposing margaritas that came to my apartment, mixed themselves, plunked down in front of the TV, and said, "Life is too short to worry about this, girl." And I decided they were right, so I drank them.

Mogo Mogo, Day 16. Day One Post-Hatch. Lex sleeps. Kathy walks on the beach. Shii Ann's ass contemplates how far superior it is to all other nearby asses. Jerri pokes at the fire, looking for dinosaur teeth or abandoned donut remnants or something. She discusses the "scramble at the last minute" that went on the previous night, before tribal council. "Richard Hatch was scurrying about trying to save his own butt," she remarks. It's obvious that the concept of Hatchenfreude has occurred to her, what with the constant reassurances from His Nakedness that he can outplay them all. Jerri confirms that what happened was that just as they were leaving for tribal council, she asked Kathy what the plan was, and Kathy said the plan was Hatch.

The chicks have a chat out in the water, where they once again express their irritation that Colby sent Lex to talk to them instead of talking to them himself, which...I just don't know why they're on about this to quite this degree. "I was really offended that he sent Lex with the information like he sent his messenger," Kathy snots. Kathy is going to spend quite a bit of this episode exploring her sense of the word "offended," so be prepared. She interviews that part of her reason for going with the Hatch boot was that she has a good relationship with Lex, and that she would have destroyed it by going with a Colby boot without warning him, to the point where Lex would never trust her anymore. That's probably true. I still think it's remarkable that someone who will later belittle another for losing her temper can muster "offense" at the fact that the right person didn't come and kiss her ring about the vote. Moreover, she was asked whether she agreed with the decision to get rid of Hatch, whether she remembers it or not. I mean, there isn't always time to say much more than "We're changing to [whatever]." She didn't have any right to have anybody else vote for Ethan in the first place, so they have as much right to tell her that they're switching their votes to Hatch as she has to tell Jerri and Shii Ann who to vote for later. She was right with Colby telling Hatch that they had to take Ethan to get rid of him, and it's not like she stopped to take a survey about everyone's feelings before she went ahead with that. It's all just maneuvering. She's pretending to be a process theorist about it, but I think she just doesn't like the fact that she's not calling every shot. After the water powwow, Shii Ann interviews that "Kathy's the biggest power player of all." She mentions that if the rest of the tribe hasn't noticed yet that Kathy holds all the cards right now, then Kathy's playing even better than she thought. Despite the fact that Kathy didn't get her way about the last boot to begin with, so...whatever, Shii Ann. ["You need to create a 'whatever, Shii Ann' macro, if you haven't already." -- Wing Chun]

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