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KentFan: The Killening

KentFan's house. A dog is barking loudly. Clark comes to the barn, looking for her. The camera is shaky as he approaches. Clark calls for KentFan. The dog continues barking toward the barn. Scary music plays as Clark turns and suddenly finds KentFan. She's hanging brutally from a noose. Clark holds her up and eyejaculates at a knot holding the rope in place. The noose falls on KentFan as Clark lays her down on the ground. "No, please, no," Clark whines. CPR, motherfucker! Hospital! Rotate around the Earth or something! KentFan's face is white. Her closed eyelids are purple. Clark starts to cry. "No, no," he says. "Nooooo!" he screams. Then a smaller one: "No!" Clark rears down and lets out a big one: "NOOOOOOOO!" Lana shows up just to say, "Oh my God! What happened?" Clark's eyes look dead. "I think I know who did this," Lois says. Oh, awesome. No need to try to resuscitate anyone here. Clark grits his teeth. He looks crazy! "I know where we can find him," Lois says. Vigilantism, yay! No need to call the sheriff, either, I guess.

Somehow Lois knew that Luna-tic would be hanging out at the Historical Whatever Museum after it was closed. Clark jogs in at normal speed and takes a punch at Luna-tic, who is just standing around for no good reason. Clark grabs Luna-tic and flips him to the ground. Clark tries to do some weird face claw move on him, but Luna-tic dematerializes into dust and slips away. He reappears behind Clark. He taunts Clark, telling him that even Clark thought KentFan was guilty. He keeps his hand a CGI dust color. Very badly done special effects jumpcut as Luna-tic punches Clark and sends him flying across the room. It looks like one of those bad '80s movies where it looks like frames from the film are missing when it should just be one fluid motion. Clark crashes into some inexpensive historical plywood. Luna-tic tries to cheer Clark up by saying that KentFan did try to kill Clark's girlfriend last year. "You tried to kill Lana," says Clark. "What does that make you?" Luna-tic tries to explain with his bullshit logic, pointing to his temple that he's doing what's right for the town. Clark says he killed KentFan. "I loved her and you took that away from me," Clark says, as the two circle around each other. Clark lunges again, but Luna-tic turns into a cloud of dust and spins around Clark. It's a shitstorm! Clark holds his neck as he begins to choke. He eyejaculates a fiery stream. Clark aims the fire at the ground, and we hear Luna-tic scream. He materializes back into human form, going fetal on the ground with some surface burns. His face looks sunburned as Clark picks him up and throws him against a post. "You killed her!" Clark screams, and starts to choke Luna-tic. "All she wanted was a chance," Clark growls.

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