Commercials. You would not believe how many truck commercials they make us sit through on TV stations in Texas. Y'all just wouldn't believe it. By the way, I just took a little recapping break to play some Resident Evil 4. It's more fun than this episode.
Oh, awesome. We get to go with Lois on her date. I'd almost forgotten about that little subplot, because it was something I was on pins and needles about. The date takes place in a big red building revealed to be the Smallville Creamed Corn Histori-naseum Exploralearning Center. Luna-tic, making the brave acting choice of speaking with no inflection whatsoever, shows a bored Lois a model of the town, circa 1988, before the meteor shower. It was a simpler time, then. People still remembered the Thompson Twins, and you could wear Members Only jackets without being ironic. Luna-tic says that his father always told him the town was infected somehow by the meteor shower, and that it brought an evil to their town. Lois says it sounds like something from the Sci-Fi Channel. Try ABC Family. Luna-tic says it's one of the few memories he has of his father, who died when he was young. Lois blah blahs about losing someone close when you're young. She says her mom died when she was little. Which explains Lois's deepest character flaws, like, say, lack of any discretion whatsoever. Someone really should have taken her aside and taught her shame. Luna-tic says that his favorite moments with his dad were when he used to talk about the town. Hear that creak? It's exposition badly in need of oiling. Luna-tic goes on a monotone monologue about how nobody in the town knows right from wrong anymore. He brings up morality. He mentions "that football coach dating a student." Does Luna-tic not realize that the girl he's on a date with is friends with that coach and student? Is he a total dumb-fuck? Apparently so, because even his basic male imperative for mating seems to be trumped by his complete lack of common sense here. Did I say oiling? We need some industrial-strength WD-40 up in here. "They're both over eighteen," Lois says. Luna-tic chuckles, and says that doesn't make it right. He says that there are rules, and that if you break them, other people will, too. He tells her it's a good thing they were punished. Lois asks if he thinks Lana and Jason were attacked because their relationship was immoral. Luna-tic takes a second, and then says he thinks they got exactly what they deserved. Wouldn't what they deserved be death, instead of attacks that were interrupted midway through? Lois pretends to look at her watch, and then says, "Wow. Look at the time." She tells Luna-tic that she has to get back to the newsroom. Luna-tic just nods, and then goes back to looking around. After Lois leaves, he dematerializes into a very cartoon-looking whirlwind of dust. It's quite bad. Holy Evil Pig Pen!