Alias
Passage, Part I

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admin: C+ | 1 USERS: A-
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If Music Be The Food Of Love

Foolio finally fulfills her daily quota of annoying behavior and appears in Syd's doorway in order to ask if Syd would prefer a Swedish or shiatsu massage when they have their spa day. Syd's all, oooh, so sorry, sweetie. No can do. I'd rather have some genital warts removed -- I mean, I HAVE to have some genital warts removed. Can I take a rain check on the massage? I sure could use it! Foolio's all, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. It's not like this is the FIRST time you've cancelled on my ass.

Foolio leaves, and Will whips back around to Syd. "Okay, I want to kill that Sark guy," he snaps. Hee. He's so boffo! Syd's all, yeah, tell me something I don't know, pumpkin. Will's all, no, really, I MEAN IT. This is gonna drive me INSANE, dude. Syd's all, well, don't ask, don't tell, sister. You WANTED to know what was wrong. Will's all, yeah, I know, but I didn't think it was going to involve that skinny little monkey boy. Syd's all, yeah, well, Sark's tried to cash in my ticket too, ya know? Will's all, yeah, but at least YOU get to DO something about it. Syd's all, well, what about your work with Vaughn? Will's all, oh, well, THAT. Your would-be boyfriend FIRED my ass, sister. Thanks for NOTHIN'.

Subbasement Of Dreams And Desires -- This Time WITH The Pseudo-Sexual Vibe Because It's Vaughn And Syd, Alone At Last. And welcome to The Weird Watch Scene, kids. It's been discussed on the boards, but now it's here for real! Right in this recap! Enjoy!

Syd's all, the CIA is just gonna ignore everything that Will discovered? Vaughn's like, "Actually, when Devlin heard that five million American first graders took a standardized test that may have been doctored by the KGB, he sent Will's research to the FBI." Wait. Hold the phone. Will was AHEAD of the FBI? I mean, Will provided intel to the fucking FBI and Devlin had Vaughn FIRE HIS ASS? The hell? Whyeeeee?

And could I get another "whyeeeee" for Syd's tightly pulled-back hair? I have nothing against sticky-outy ears but, like, keep 'em under wraps, kids. Jennifer Garner's a lovely young woman. There's no need to have her naked ears out there for birds to mistake as branches. A girl could get hurt that way. And I'm absolutely certain that Jennifer Garner's ears don't actually stick out that far. It's just, with her hair pulled back so hard that her eyebrows look like they're about to snap like rubber bands, her ears have no choice but to spring forward in an effort to lend even a LITTLE relaxation to the rest of her head. Seriously. Sydney could rightfully be mistaken as a member of the Royal Family with a pair of ears like those.

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Alias

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