Episode Report Card
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Re: Lax

Cameron lists off our lacrosse player's symptoms: double vision and night terrors. House is so intrigued by the latter that he ambles off to talk to the family. Cameron can't believe that House is actually talking to a patient. House says that night terrors in a sixteen-year-old constitute a "very good reason" to talk to the family. "Good work," he says on his way out.

House checks out the Dan the lacrosse player's eyes and reports that they look fine. He asks about the night terrors. Dad steps in and says that they've been going on for three weeks, and that his son is afraid to go to bed. House flicks his fingers in front of the boy's face. Mom asks what he's testing. House says he just likes watching people blink. He asks the boy to name as many animals that start with the letter "B" as he can. The boy pauses. And pauses. And pauses. And then..."Baby elephant?" Hee hee hee. House says that the boy has no neurological damage, although he is kinda stupid. As for the night terrors, House says that those have two sources: post-traumatic stress or sexual abuse. House asks who is abusing him. Dan says nothing as House lists off possible suspects: a teacher, a neighbor...his parents. The parents object. House says that Dan's lack of response is "consistent" with abuse. Dan finally speaks up to deny abuse and mention that he got hit in the head recently, something that he and his parents failed to mention before.

House walks out of the exam room, so annoyed at how people LIE. The family runs after him, Dad saying that they took Dan to the ER after the hit on the head and they found nothing wrong. House says the ER was wrong: Dan has a concussion, thus explaining the night terrors and the double vision. Dan says he had double vision before he got hit in the head. House tells him to get some glasses, and limps away.

Cameron chases after House to accuse him of taking the case just to humiliate her. House says that not everything is about Princess Cameron; he wanted to make sure the kid wasn't being "diddled by Daddy. Or Mommy." Good to know House is equal-opportunity when it comes to sexual-abuser suspects. House glances back over at Dan, who is sitting on a counter, just in time to see his freely-swinging leg jerk a few times in slow motion. Meanwhile, Cameron is still trying to defend herself from House's allegations of her self-centeredness. He ignores this because human voices are not important to him and canes back to the lacrosse family. House runs back out to the family and asks Dan if he's tired. Dan says he isn't. House says that his twitch was a myoclonic jerk, something that commonly happens when you're falling asleep. You know, like when you're drifting off to sleep and then you have a dream where you're walking, and then suddenly you fall in a manhole or something and you wake up with a violent start, startled out of your mind. What that actually is, says House, is when the act of falling asleep, with the breathing slowing down and all that stuff confuses your brain into thinking you're dying, and it sends an electrical pulse that starts you awake again. It's common and normal -- as long as it happens when you're falling asleep. And Dan isn't falling asleep. "Admit him," House orders.

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