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Brotherly Lust

Talon. Lana is serving coffee. Lucas walks in behind her and asks where Clark is. She says, "Good question." Just then, Clark busts in and apologizes for being late. He takes a tray from Lana for some serving. Lucas tells Lana he wants Clark fired. He says Clark was a half-hour late to work. "What were you doing, helping Lex dig up more dirt about me?" Lucas asks. Lana says she's not going to fire Clark. Lucas tries to fire Lana as well. She says that her agreement with Lex doesn't allow that. Lucas thinks for a moment. He says that Lex is history and so is this place. Well, we already established that it's Egyptian-slash-Assyrian. Lucas leaves through the back exit. Clark follows him out and says he can't do this. Lucas says he's a Luthor and he can do anything he wants. Clark says he'll quit if Lucas leaves Lana alone. "Too late," Lucas says. Just then, a motorcycle dude comes up the alley. He's carrying an Uzi. Goodbye, Mr. Lucas! The motorcycle takes off. Lucas runs. Shots are fired. In Bullet Time, Clark runs over, elbows the motorcycle guy who's wearing an inconspicuous bright yellow helmet, and then rushes forward to stop the bullets. Clark runs past them, smacking them with his hand one by one. This is actually very nicely done. Clark gets in front of the remaining bullets, and they ricochet off his back. Clark dives on Lucas (unnecessarily, but let's take our HoYay! where we can get it). The motorcycle guy hits a fence roughly. "Are you okay?" Clark asks. Clark gets up and he's got smoking holes in his jacket. Motorcycle thug gets on his bike and rides away.

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Lucas at the new Mansion of Even More Familial Dysfunction. He walks in on Papa Luthor sitting by a fire, who tells him that he wouldn't be a Luthor if somebody wasn't trying to kill him. All right, that was pretty funny. Papa Luthor says it's a good thing Clark Kent was there. Lucas doesn't know how Clark reacted so quickly. Papa Luthor drawls, "Well a very special...young man." Lucas says he did recognize the shooter. It's a guy named Dirk (...The Daring? ...Diggler?) with whom Lucas did business back in Edge City. Papa Luthor says that "business" is an interesting euphemism. Papa Luthor's not surprised. He asks if Lucas thinks he's at Walton Mountain. More chuckles. This has more Papa Luthor Chuckles Per Minute than nearly any other episode. Papa Luthor implies in his sneaky way that Lex had something to do with the motorcycle attacker. Lucas says that's funny, because Lex said that Papa Luthor was the one who wanted Lucas out of the picture. Papa Luthor puts his hands on Lucas's cheeks. "But you're my son," Papa Luthor says. Some species eat their young. Lucas takes Papa Luthor's hands off his cheeks and asks why he should believe Papa Luthor. He says that Papa Luthor already tried to buy him off. "Why the sudden change of heart?" he asks. Papa Luthor bullshits that it was all a test. Papa says that Lucas stood up to him, turned the tables, showed his strength. He says that's what it takes to win. And adds that Lex doesn't have that. But does Lucas have The Sexy? Papa Luthor says that's why Lex is afraid of Lucas. He tells the boy that he's thrown down the gauntlet and that he should go the distance. These are total Bo platitudes, but evil.

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