How annoyed am I by the Visa commercial where they show an African tribe playing Survivor? Because Africa so needs to catch up with American culture so they can play a silly game, too.
Finally, it's Day 3 at Boran camp, and Diane is still sick. Really, how could they not have voted her off? The tribe members all decide to go get water, and Clarence offers to stay behind to take care of the ailing Big Bird. How Elmo-ly of him. For some reason, he asks Lex for permission to do so, and Lex dictates that it's "totally fine." In a weird sequence, the others members of Boran keep talking about going to the watering hole and then someone says "....and we'll bring back some water." It sounds like they're talking in code, as in: this is a really "good" show. Tom tells us that when they were leaving to return to camp, he realized they should have counted their food cans. He says, "Clarence loves them cherries." Ethan tells us that Clarence might honestly be helping Diane, or he might be "eating all our food." These are some suspicious people. But they have cool basket contraptions for carrying the water. Tom tells us that Clarence met them about twenty yards from the camp, and that as he approached, "[he] smelt a little something. It didn't smell good." Tom is the anti-Rodger. He tells us he sniffed around some more until Diane admitted that she and Clarence had opened a can of beans. In a confessional, Clarence tells us that Diane told him it would help her to eat; he says he volunteered to do that to help her out. Tom approaches him and says, "Hey, Clarence. Diane talked like you wanted to eat something while we's gone." Huh? I feel like I'm watching a Saturday Night Live skit when these two attempt to communicate with each other. Clarence explains that he opened the can to help Diane feel better. He then makes the mistake of saying, "It ain't no big deal." The other Boran members jump all over that -- they each want to be the one to explain to Clarence exactly why it is a big deal. Clarence explains that it was a "judgment call," and Tom says it was "bad damn judgment." The argument is endless as Clarence keeps insisting that he did it for Diane. Lex points out that Clarence ate the beans, too, so it couldn't have all been for Diane's benefit. Clarence finally just apologizes to get the others to shut up, and they still won't let it go. Tom makes Clarence say "I'm sorry" to each individual member of the team in turn. Clarence does so, and then says, "You only gotta tell me once." Lex says it's about broken trust. Suddenly, Ethan is talking about the army and how Clarence would get shot for doing that (eating beans?) if he were in the military. Tom then busts out, "I'd shoot you!" It was so cute when Rudy said stuff like that. I was inclined to believe Clarence's story until it turns out that he hid the finished can from the others. And then suddenly, Big Bird -- clad in a leopard-print bikini -- my eyes! my eyes! -- announces that she didn't ask for the beans. Why wasn't there a camera on these two, anyway? Clarence gets all worked up because he says Diane is telling lies. Then Tom pipes in with, "What is that jive thing that you shown an old cow dung, to do old hayseed?" It's like a word scramble -- there's meaning in there somewhere. I think. Well, Tom won't do that jive thing anymore: "Today your way ain't my way." Clarence calls him Tommy, and then Lex says, "Today was not a good day to do this."