Opening credits. Do you think they'll cut the dead person out of the credits right away or let it ride for a few episodes?
The aftermath. Bo and MamaKent arrive at the snowy farm in the blue truck. MamaKent is amusedly saying that something was the worst joke she ever heard. Oh, snap. She's been reading my recaps. "Oh, come on, you liked it!" Bo bellows as they get out of the truck. Yeah, you liked it! Don't deny it! Here, try my knock-knocks. Bo sees Clark walking up and says he thought Clark was going to meet them at the poles. Well, whether it's North or South poles, that seems like an awful long way to...oh. Polls. Clark stops them in mid-stride to tell them something important. "I told Lana everything," Clark says, nervously. "What?" MamaKent exhales. Bo gets pissed. "...Right before I proposed to her in the Fortress," Clark finishes. MamaKent forgets all about the secret thing. She wants to know what Lana's answer was. Clark says he told Lana not to tell him right away; he thinks it's a lot to put on her at once. Ya think? Bo asks if Clark has really thought this whole thing through. Geez, Bo, look at the person you're asking. He hasn't thought ham sandwiches through yet. Clark says that if he ever wanted to share his secret with someone, it would be with Lana. Not Chloe or Pete. They suck. MamaKent says she's proud of Clark, and knows it's been weighing on him for a while. Bo scoffs, annoyed. MamaKent likens Clark's decision to Bo's election run, and says that anything like that has risks. Bo gives in and says that it's hard to look at your son and realize you're talking to a man. A man who doesn't need his father's advice anymore. A man with big, gay secrets. "I'm always gonna need you, Dad," Clark says. For at least, I dunno, fifty more minutes? Bo and Clark hug.
Water is being poured into a teapot. We pull up to see Lois Lane at The Talon. Her green blouse matches the green shelves behind her. She's talking on the phone trying to get exit poll results. She acknowledges that it's early but she's Lois, dammit. She doesn't have to be polite or make sense to anyone. She stands on a stool to try to retrieve something from atop the shelves. Lois wobbles on the stool and almost falls trying to get a box of Ding-Dongs from up there. How appropriate. Lana suddenly appears, putting her hands on Lois's waist, trying to steady her on the stool. Lois explains that she tries to keep the junk food up there, but that it's easier to reach on some days than others. Lana apologizes for being late. Lois brings out a box for Lana and says that the decorating committee can't "bunt" to save their life. Huh? ["She's talking about bunting -- you know, that red-white-and-blue fabric that you see all swagged around at political or patriotic events." -- Wing Chun] Lois asks Lana to grab something for her. Lana just stares into space. Lois asks Lana to spill it. I think enough things have been spilled at The Talon since you got here, Lois. Lois guesses that Lana's problem is "tall, dark, and bumbling." She just described the ill-fated Pink Panther film featuring basketball-playing character Inspector Kareem-Abdul Jaclouseau. Lana tries to explain without using names even though it's totally obvious that she's talking about Clark. She asks what would happen if Lois thought she knew someone really well, but then it turned out there was a whole other side to him or her. Lois, who looks old enough to have experienced about a dozen relationships like that, asks if they're in "arms-dealer territory" or if they're talking The Crying Game. Sure. Lana's seen that. Right. "Nothing like that," Lana says, suppressing a smile. Sure he's not gay? I know it's late in the game to bring that up, and it comes as a total surprise coming from me, but I just thought I'd ask. Lois says the question is whether it changes the way Lana feels about him. Lana thinks. "Maybe," she says. Didn't she just tell Clark it wouldn't? Lois hurls a giant 3-D anvil at us: she says she would be lucky to end up with someone as honorable as Clark someday. Lana half-smiles. Al and Miles pee all over themselves in glee.