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Big Superman On Campus

We cut, sadly, to a hospital. Li'l Bale (or "Coop," as he's now known) lies in bed. He can blink and move his face around a little. He's in the dark. Luke walks in. He asks if Coop is feeling better. Luke says, "It's starting to wear off." Coop tries to say something. Luke tells Coop that eventually he'll be able to talk. And when he does, he'll tell the world about Luke. Coop tries to shake his head to say no. He gasps. Luke tells him to shush. He puts a hand on his shoulder, applying the orange-fingered Vulcan KryptoGrip. Coop seizes. Orange current runs through him. He's paralyzed again. Luke takes a pillow and smothers Coop with it. "I'm sorry, Coop," he says before he does it. We cut to commercials as the heart monitor prematurely flatlines.

Commercials. Constantine = Hellboy + Matrix, right.

Clark and Lois are skulking around the dorms. Clark tells Lois that she should have waited outside. She insists that she can't wait around when she's going to be on trial. They find Luke, who was on his way out. Luke, with genuine-looking regret, tells Clark he just got a call from the coach; Coop has, uh, shuffled off this mortal chicken coop. Lois: "Oh shit." Luke says that, an hour ago, Coop's vitals were getting better, but then he just stopped breathing. Lois starts to ask Luke about the newspaper and the football team. Clark interrupts, saying this isn't the best time. "When is the best time, Clark, when I'm on the chain gang?" Lois asks rudely. Clark says that Lois has been under some stress. Does stress explain those dark circles under her eyes and her overall middle-aged appearance? I think she's pretty good-looking and not a bad actress, I really do, but she's nowhere in the vicinity of eighteen to twenty-two years old. Nowhere near. And the more they try to make her seem so, the more silly she ends up looking. They should have just said, "She's twenty-five, she dropped out of college, deal with it" if they really wanted to cast Erica Durance in this role. Lois counters that stress is when you're stuck in traffic or ill-prepared for a midterm. She's up on possible manslaughter charges. Luke asks to speak to Clark in private. Lois snaps that she's sorry about Luke's friend, but that if he has something to say, he should say it to her face. Her twenty-seven-year-old face. (Yeah, I looked it up.) Clark quietly says he'll catch up with her later. And with that, Lois is dismissed. Luke, looking a little greasy-haired, tells Clark that Lois looks like trouble. Clark, dumb-ass, says he's just starting to figure that out. Luke advises Clark to tell her not to come around here no more. Whatever she's looking for. Hey! Don’t come around here no more. He says she's done enough damage. Close-up on Clark. Because he's pretty.

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