The Talon. "Go Crows!" on the marquee. "You Ugly" is playing as the Smallville High cheerleaders do their routine on the Talon theater stage. Their routine includes a big stand-on-the-shoulder tableau. Some dork hops on stage just as they're finishing. You're no Cliff and this still isn't Bring it On. Lana turns from this monstrosity and sees Lex walking down the aisle toward her, who says he got a message that she wanted to see him. Lana asks a favor: she wants Lex to find out who's in the picture with her mom. Lex says it may be harder to come to terms with whatever he finds out. He proceeds to tell the whole story of Pandora's Box, which Lana, in her lack of schooling, has never heard of. Lex is insinuating that once Lana knows the stuff about her mom, it'll be gloom, doom, and therapy. Lana ignores the warning and asks for any information Lex can get. Stupid Lana.
The Torch. Clark and Chloe greet each other; she warns him that Principal Asskick is coming by for an interview, so Clark might want to make himself scarce for an hour. Clark asks what Chloe's looking at. She brings up her friend "Chad" at the Medical Examiner's office. "The guy with the black fingernail polish and lipstick," Clark says. He would notice. Chloe says it's hard being Smallville's only goth. I really, really, REALLY hope we meet that guy this season. Chloe says she got the coroner's report for the aged jock by lending the guy her eyeliner. ["That's so unhygienic, dude." -- Wing Chun] Clark looks at the report, which says the kid didn't die of Progeria. Chloe says the dead guy's pituitary gland -- which controls the aging process -- was drained, like somebody sucked the youth right out of him. That used to happen to me in Trigonometry class. "Well, that's quite an assumption, Miss Sullivan," says Principal Asskick, who enters the room just then. Chloe stammers that she was just running some scenarios. Asskick says that Chloe should continue, because he likes students who think outside of the box. In fact, he's got a strict no-homeless-students policy. Asskick says he's seen a lot of creativity and insight in The Torch. But, as he walks to the Wall of Weird, he says that many a Pulitzer has sprung from wild theories. "Just make sure you can back them up," he says. Chloe is in love. "Wow," she says. Chloe asks about their interview. Asskick asks for a half-hour. Clark makes to leave and Asskick calls him back. Clark has a little hair-tail. Asskick wants to see Clark in his office.