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It Ain't Over Til The Fat Man Cries

Probst asks Li'l Russell if he agrees. Li'l Russell tries not to sob as he says that Natalie's key move was not getting rid of Erik, but teaming up with Li'l Russell. Oh, except that Li'l Russell told her back before the Final Tribal Council that he was responsible for that alliance and not her, so that couldn't have been her key move. Anyway, when he says that, the audience cheers. They love Li'l Russell! He should have won! He was robbed! The jury was bitter! Right, well, they didn't have to live with Li'l Russell for 39 days. We only had to deal with him one hour a week for three months. I think it's a lot easier to respect someone's gameplay from afar. "Maybe I had two key moves, then," Natalie shrugs. Yes, might as well speak while you still can, Natalie. Because pretty soon, you won't be able to get a word in edgewise, nor will anyone else. Li'l Russell of course believes that his social game was awesome, since Jaison, Mick, Natalie and Shambo all trusted him. Yeah, and two of them were in the Final Three and thus unable to vote for you while Jaison was so bitter about your abuse of his trust that he voted for Natalie. Social game = fail.

Probst points out the obvious: that Li'l Russell is "visibly upset." Li'l Russell doesn't deny it, saying he played "the best strategic game in history." The crowd cheers. Most of the contestants roll their eyes. Li'l Russell adds that he's not the only person who believes this, like that means anything. America thinks that Li'l Russell played a great strategic game because: a) the editors did everything possible to force them to think this, and b) everyone else this season sat around like a log doing nothing, thus enabling Li'l Russell to play them all. How can Li'l Russell really say that his strategic game was so great when he didn't win? Because that's a strategy, too. When it really counted, he both under and overestimated his fellow contestants. Natalie didn't, and she won. He outplayed eighteen people, but she outplayed the only one who mattered. Li'l Russell claims that "millions of people" also believe that he's the best strategic player in the history of this game. I will guarantee you that millions of people don't give a shit. And if they do, they still think that Richard Hatch is the best strategic player in the history of this game. Because that's the last season they actually watched. Li'l Russell concludes that all Natalie did was jump on his back and allow him to take her to the end.

Probst asks Li'l Russell if his mistake was who he brought to the Final Three. Would he have won the game if he'd brought Jaison and Shambo instead? Li'l Russell admits that he wonders that himself. Well, I guess his strategic game wasn't that great after all, then, was it? Probst does that stupid thing where he asks the jury how they would have voted if Jaison and Shambo were in the Final Three, as if these results really mean anything. Li'l Russell gets most of the votes, but this is also after the contestants have gotten a chance to see the show and without Jaison getting a chance to speak and answer questions. I'm pretty sure he would have blown Li'l Russell and Shambo out of the water and taken it. "You made the wrong choice," Probst says. Um, it wasn't Li'l Russell's "choice" to make. There were other people voting, too. I doubt they would have gone against Li'l Russell's wishes, but you never know.

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