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Bully For Lex!

Tiny blackout and then we're in the present day. We see the back of Modern Lex's head as he looks up at the same building. There are more flowers and ivy around in the present day. Lana walks up to Lex. She says that they had a stuffed crow at Smallville High and that this is quite a bit different. She's wearing a very nice red dress. Lex is in a suit. Around them, people are dressed similarly. Lex tells Lana that in this case, he'd prefer the crow. So would Satan. Lana asks Lex why he'd come to "this thing," which looks like a class reunion. Lex says that some deep-pocketed people went to his school and that these alumni socials are good for making business contacts. "Then let's be social so we can get the hell out of here," Lana says sneakily, giving Lex a sly grin. You minx! "Lana! Your billionaire dragged you to this thing, too?" asks a grating now-all-too-familiar voice. It's Lois Lane, wearing a strapless dress that looks like it was made for falling off. She's also wearing a four-strand-deep pearl necklace. She's here for her twenty-year reunion, maybe. "Oliver's here?" Lex asks. Lois ignores Lex and talks about how putting pubescent boys in jackets and filling them with pomp and circumstance is a sure recipe for Lord Of The Flies. How incredibly insightful you are, Lois. Could you please leave now? Oliver walks up, saying that he thinks they all turned out all right. Lex is unhappy to see him. Crabbe and Goyle, er, I mean, Geoffrey and Alden, show up next to Oliver. Lex says that he can only speak for himself. He stares at Lana, making her seem uncomfortable being the trophy girl in this particular pissing contest. Lex asks, "How's business?" Alden says, "Not as good as you, but, hey." Hey! Lois asks if they're all friends. "Something like that," Lex says coldly. Geoffrey remarks about the gang being all here. "Except for Duncan," says Alden as he drinks his hard liquor. Lex didn't like that remark. "Who's Duncan?" Lana asks. For that matter, who's Johnny? Oliver tells Alden to lay off the drinks. Alden tries to say that they were all thinking it, but Oliver cuts him off. "Yeah, whatever. Good to see you, Lex," Alden says as he walks off to go drive into Lake Chappaquiddick. "You did all right for yourself," he tells Lex sleazily as he looks at Lana while walking away. Lex looks incredibly uncomfortable.

Alden, walking up the steps outside the main building, grabs another drink from a serving tray. "Duncan, if you were here, you'd still be a loser," he says, toasting to no one in particular. From the statue overhead, a piece of stone falls and lands right in front of him. Guests near Alden gasp. Lana and Lois notice. "Oh, my God," Lana says. They start to walk over. Geoffrey and Oliver show up. Lex asks if Alden is all right. "Just missed me," Alden says. We look up at the statue. The hand of the statue, holding a sword, detaches. It falls down. Flips off a ledge. Alden says it must be his lucky day. Wait for it.... Alden looks up. The sword impales him right the fuck through the chest! Ouchamon! Lex winces. Overhead shot. We go straight to the opening credits. I wonder if he lived by the sword.

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