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Bully For Lex!

There's smoke outside the Excelsior Academy building. Young Lex and Young Duncan exit as the camera tracks them. Was that supposed to be mist? Fog? It's daylight, people. Lex is trying to reason with Duncan about rethinking something. "What's there to think about?" Duncan asks. Duncan plans to tell the headmaster about the cheating to get Oliver and his buddies expelled. Lex tries to stop him; he thinks it would be better to keep the information and use it to keep the guys from messing with them. Lex wants to force the bullies to act like their friends so they can have some respect. Duncan's head looks like it's going to explode. "You don't...pretend to be friends with someone, Lex. You either are or you aren't." Ah, the days before reality TV shows took off. Duncan says he's going to turn them in. Straight ahead, Oliver, Geoffrey and Alden are waiting. Oliver says that he thought Lex was going to handle this. Duncan, shocked, turns back to Young Lex. "You told them?" he asks. Lex spins around him in strange blocking. He says that this is their chance to stop being outsiders. Duncan says he never felt like an outsider as long as he had Lex as a friend. Aw. Duncan tries to walk past Lex, but Young Lex stops him. Duncan gets past him, but Oliver is right there, pushing him back. Young Lex grabs Duncan by the arms and tells him to shut up and everything will be all right. Duncan screams for Lex to get off of him. He pushes Lex away. Lex, angry, rushes Duncan from behind and pushes him into a tree. Duncan hits the tree and lands hard. As Oliver and Co. egg him on, Lex straddles Duncan and starts punching him in the face. "Why do you have to be such a loser?" Lex screams as he keeps punching, "why can't you be like everybody else?" Dude, it's harsh. Sudden blackout.

Back to the present. Lex, lying next to the perpetually going fireplace, wakes up. Lana, reading nearby, asks if he's all right. Lex says it was a bad dream. Lana asks what it was about. Lex lies, saying that he doesn't remember. Lana says that it's all right to be upset; someone just died in front of him. Lex goes straight for the Scotch. He says maybe Alden finally got what he deserved. "How can you say that about your friend?" Lana asks. Lex says he only had one friend in school and it wasn't Alden. Lana asks if Lex wants to talk about it. "Not really," he says. He tells Lana he's all right and not to worry.

Lex puts down the Scotch decanter, but it falls off the table and onto the carpet. Lana smiles. Lex says that at least it didn't break. He bends down to pick it up, but it suddenly rolls across the floor. Poltergeist! Carol Anne! Lex creeps forward. He slowly reaches for the decanter, saying there's nothing to worry about. Lex picks up the container. "See?" he says. Suddenly all the lights start to flicker. "Lex," Lana says, worriedly. A hanging light fixture that looks a little like the one in the entrance to my house (only mine has squiggly metal lines going up above it) suddenly breaks off and falls, shattering on the floor. Lex and Lana dive away just in time. Lana, who seems to have hit her head on the floor, has her fiftieth concussion. Yay, free ice cream! She's unconscious. Lex cradles her head and looks ahead dramatically.

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