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The Hardy Boys Go Off to See the Wizard

Back in town, Dean asks the Mom and Pop from the opening scene -- proprietors of the "Jorgeson General Store" -- for information on the missing couple. They shake their heads dumbly until the girl from the opening scene comes down the stairs carrying a couple of horrifyingly cloying memento boxes and asking, "Did the guy have a tattoo?" She points out to Mom and Pop that the two did come through, and Pop fake-remembers the scenario. Dean asks to be pointed in the same direction that the couple had been pointed. Which is, in the direction of death and destruction as usual.

As Dean drives, one of his Dork Meters starts making whinnying sounds. He pulls over to fish the little LiteBrite Ghost Detector out of his bag in the backseat. It's going crazy, so he decides to take a walk around. Dean meanders around the Mock Apple Orchard. The location scouts must have gotten the recipe for this place off the back of a box of Ritz crackers. Guaranteed to look just like apples! While walking around, Dean's attention is caught by Mr. Buckethead. Ugh. This scarecrow just gives me the willies. Dean stands underneath it, looking up for a while before saying, "Dude, you fugly." We get a close-up of the scarecrow's stitched face and hook-for-hand. Now, I'm pretty sure most crows and other avian pests don't actually experience consciousness, so whoever styled this guy went a little above and beyond the minimum requirements for crop protection. Dean pulls a ladder up to the figure and gets up real close, looking it right in its empty eye holes. He pulls up its sleeve and reveals the tattoo that he'd seen in the picture of Lost Boy, while the thing just hangs there looking like it's going to eat Dean up.Commercials. Back in town, Dean runs into Emily, the girl from Jorgeson's. She tells him that Mom and Pop are actually her aunt and uncle, who took her in after her parents died when she was thirteen. Dean peppers her with questions about the town and gets her to spill the beans: "I love it here. I mean, the towns around us, people are losing their homes, their farms. But here, it's almost like we're blessed." Dean notices a broken-down car behind her and finds out that it belongs to a couple passing through town.

Bus station. Sam wrangles with an unsympathetic bus station employee, who tells him that the Sacramento bus doesn't run again until 5 PM the next day. He pulls out his Treo and, in a nice parallel, starts scrolling down just like his brother -- Rebecca Warren, Jerry, John Marcynuk, Dean, Mary Ann Liu -- and almost dials Dean's number. These boys don't know too many people, do they? I mean, Jerry the Geek is in there? Sam, even though I usually don't like you, you can put my number in your phone, okay? It's 773-UR2-CUTE. It seems like Sam really is about to dial Dean when Short Lip McGee sluts from the dirty, dirty ground of the station, "Hey!" Who sits on the ground of a bus station? Without getting an ass full of gum and ash, that is? Sam asks her what happened to her ride. She tells him that shady van guy really was shady. Sam is all sighs and slumped shoulders when he tells her about California. Short Lip gets up and pegs her way over to him on her big front teeth and slinks around in front of Sam. She's going to "Cali," too and her name is Meg. We'll keep calling her Short Lip.

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