Shelayna & Milena

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Is That A Beer In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Unfortunately, that's not to be as they need to go finish decorating the reception hall. There's more yelling and her eyes are practically bugging out of her head as she's trying to plan which one of them will go back to the house to pick something up. Bart wants directions, she assures him he'll get lost, and then, in the greatest non-sequitur of all time, explains, "We need to do the pineapple tree tonight, and the pineapples are in the trailer." This will never be seen or explained, but I think it is even better that way. I'm going to start using that as my reason for everything.

Finally, mercifully, Shelayna and Bart's wedding day is here. She looks hands-down the worst and most tired we've ever seen her, with some heavy luggage under her eyes. Back at what appears to be a hotel near the castle, Bart's in a great mood -- his only advice is never to get married around Christmas. I feel like I could have told him that, and I've never come close to getting married, but you live, you learn. The whole scene quickly cuts back and forth between the two of them, but for ease of reading I'll pull them out separately. Bart can't find his tux and heads back to the house, where it turns out it's been in one of the trucks. On the way back, he and some friends get hopelessly lost. They clearly do make it back since we then see him in nothing but a towel, announcing that he's about to get dressed. He means it when he warns everyone to avert their eyes and drops the towel to pull on his pants. Commando. In a rented tux. Ew. EW! He then can't find his ring but isn't worried and merely jokes about borrowing one for the ceremony. He's clearly in a great, full-on Bart mood.

If opposites attract, this is the perfect illustration since Shelayna is in the middle of a meltdown back at the house. First, she can't find her eyelashes and eventually finds them in the car. Next she shrieks with fear when she realizes she doesn't know where the tiara is. Leticia, next to her, jumps a mile into the air and assures her it's just sitting on the counter out of her line of sight. Shelayna finally admits she's about to cry, which then isn't helped when she can't find her ring. Thank goodness Leticia is Superwoman. When she finds out what Shelayna is searching for, she lets her know that she's had the ring all along. Just because she hasn't lost enough important things so far, Shelayna realizes once in the car that she has no keys. By now she's so high-pitched that the neighbor's dog is barking outside my apartment window.

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