Shut Up, Maile

Episode Report Card
admin: F | Grade It Now!
I Hate You Guys So Much

Rosanna is pouting at Shoshana, telling her that she's the only Shoshana in the whole wide world and that makes her special. And so when people are mean to her she should remember that she's the only Shoshana that they're being mean to and she's the one that's special enough to have everyone hate her. She's also the only Shoshana in the entire world to admit to liking Eden's Crush and now she might as well transfer schools. Shoshana never makes eye contact with any of these girls. She just looks away and smiles, thinking, "Wow. You guys sure do love you some you, huh? I mean, I know this is becoming an old joke, but get over yourselves, okay?"

Oh, now it's Ivette's turn to ruin this poor adolescent. She's all on her knees in front of Shoshana, pleading with this girl to not jump off of whatever ledge the girls have convinced themselves Shoshana's on. "Take things a day at a time. And believe me? Things happen for a reason." Ivette apparently thinks that Shoshana has a drinking problem. But fucking Maile's not done not shutting up. "When you think people don't like you, you know what you're thinking? They're probably jealous. That you have the best grades!" Shoshana tries the "If I Cover My Face With My Hair Enough They Might Think I've Disappeared" trick but it's not working. The girls are all talking to her at once. Oh, except I don't see Nicole anywhere. Shoshana was digging into Nicole's Valium time, I suppose. Someone tells Shoshana that she has pretty hair. Someone else calls her pretty.

The narrator tells us that "meeting Shoshana has made all of the hard work during the New York trip pay off." Uh-huh. Ana Maria, Ivette, and Maile all group hug Shoshana until you can't see her anymore and they thrust their tongues and asses out towards the photographers. And they've "given their first big fan an experience she'll never forget."

Shoshana: Um, I was just thinking, I mean. I know it's kind of a weird time, but I was just wondering, um, what is gonna happen to us on Monday? When we're all together again? I mean I consider you guys my friends -- I'm not wrong, am I?
Ivette: No...
Shoshana: So, so on Monday...what happens?
Maile: Are we still friends, you mean? If we're friends now, that is?
Shoshana: Yeah...
Maile: Do you want the truth?
Shoshana: Yeah, I want the truth...
Maile: I don't think so...

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