Sight Unseen

Episode Report Card
admin: D | 2 USERS: A+
Stalker? I Don't Even Know Her.

Cole enters under the cautious gaze of Prue, just as Phoebe adds that they have to keep an eye out for Belthazor as well. Prue tells Phoebe she should be careful of Cole as well, and Phoebe pouts a bit in disappointment that Prue still disapproves of the ADA. Prue allows reluctantly that she doesn't disapprove, necessarily; it's just that they don't know him that well. Phoebe perks off to rectify that situation, and Prue notices Sean sitting with a couple of two-drink-maximum drinking buddies on one of the club's sofas. She skips over to him, he announces he thinks she's "high maintenance," she coyly agrees, and then she drags him off to the dance floor. Meanwhile, Phoebe's engaged in a little flirtation with Cole. Phoebe hopes the two are "still friends," Cole hopes they're "more than that," Phoebe challenges him to "prove it," and he pulls her merry-widowed torso into a clinch. They pull one of those somewhat distasteful lip-sucking kisses -- Cole with his eyes open for most of it -- and then settle into a more traditional liplock as the scene fades to...God, no. No, please.

I've never done anything in my life horrible enough to merit having to watch what follows. Really. I might tipped less than fifteen percent on occasion, and yes, I've told guys I'd call them just to be polite and then threw their numbers out behind their backs. I've gone fifty in thirty-five-per zones, I've even drunk straight from the communal carton of milk, but for the sake of all that is holy and good, I never did anything to deserve this: Piper and Leo, naked in bed. Piper's just coming down from (ohGodithurts) orgasm as Leo rolls off of her, praising her superior technique (killmekillmenow) when she "concentrates." Way to make her sleep in the wet spot, champ. Overhead shot of the two in (thepainthehorriblepain) post-coital bliss, with Piper shouting up at the Powers That Be and, by extension, the viewing audience, "I hope you enjoyed the show." Cram it, slut.

I should get battle pay for shit like that. ["Done." -- Sars]

Next week on Charmed: Shannen Doherty pulls out all the stops for her Emmy reel, as Prue, literally, feels our pain. You're a week too late for me, sweetie. A week too goddamned late.

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